A Life of Showing Off

I lived a life of nothing but showing off.

The reason is simple.

I wanted to be popular.

In elementary school, honestly, I could do anything.

I always got perfect scores on tests.

I could understand most of my studies just by listening in class.

Even at sports day, I was chosen for the relay team just by running normally.

I was undefeated at dodgeball during recess.
I wouldn't forgive anyone who hit the girls.

If you were good at dodgeball and fast, you were popular.

That was elementary school.

Even after entering junior high, my desire to be popular didn't change.

The girl I liked

"I hate nerds"

Once I found that out, I worked harder at basketball than studying.

During class, I thought it was cool to pretend to be asleep even when I wasn't tired.

I couldn't help but feel happy when talking to girls.

But that was what ruined my life.

Before I knew it, the study material was no longer at a level I could understand just by listening.

I didn't know how to put in the effort.

I'm in trouble.

Although I was aware of it, I was having such a good time with my girlfriend at the time that I didn't make any effort.

Thinking back on it now, I was truly an idiot.

If I had spent those three years investing in myself, I might have had more options in life.

If I could go back, I would want to return to middle school.

Even after entering high school, I was already behind everyone else.

Since it was the countryside, I somehow managed to get into the only college-prep school in town.

I didn't know how to study, so I just wrote things down to memorize them.

Whether it's work or study, what's important is output, not input.

Because of my strange pride, I only focused on input and never did any output.

For example, I would just scribble down the quadratic formula to memorize it.

There's no way I could solve quadratic equations that way.

At a college-prep school, even the cute girls are smart.

I resent my middle school self for pretending to be asleep.

I didn't understand the material, and even though I didn't want to sleep, I would get sleepy.

Being fast at running is no good either.

I'm not playing dodgeball anymore.

Being good at three-point shots is no good either.

If you aren't smart, you won't be popular.

That was the kind of world high school was.

I wanted to be popular, so I studied recklessly hard.

I should have learned more efficiently.

I thought that being sleep-deprived was cool.

I still have so much more to say about my days of posturing, but I will leave it at that for today.

The main topic of today's article starts here.

It is a fact that my life of posturing threw my life significantly off course.

I might have been able to get into a better university, become a person who can think more broadly, and have had more options for my future.

However, there are also things I gained by posturing.

That is, by living while constantly thinking about "what others think of me," I became a person who can act while considering the feelings of others.

In other words, regardless of gender or age, I became able to act while thinking,

"What is this person looking for?"

*My experience in high school club activities further strengthened this personality, but since it would be a long story, I will talk about it another time.

This personality? Or way of thinking? has been extremely useful since I became a working adult.

I want to be trusted by those around me.

I want to be thought of as someone who is good at their job.

Behind the work I do with these thoughts in mind,

"What is this person looking for?"

I am always thinking about that as I work.

I give my all to the work I am asked to do. Because I know
that it builds trust.

But before I knew it, the requests kept increasing, and the feeling of "Why is it always me?" began to grow.

Moreover, people who work less than me are getting paid more than me.

Honestly, I can't take it anymore.

So I started writing,
to escape from the current world.

Let's use a life of pretending as a weapon and send our thoughts out to the world.

Why don't you also find a cooler version of yourself?

Next time, I plan to write about "Housework is the Greatest Investment".

Likes, follows, and comments are very welcome.

Thank you for your support.