When I let go of trying so hard, housework gradually became my ally

Housework was something that could be adapted to how I felt that day

Just as the color of the sky is different every day.

The scent of the morning breeze,
and the light streaming in,
change little by little with the seasons.

In the same way,
our physical condition,
and our mood,
are actually a little different every day.

Yet for a long time,
I thought housework was something that had to be done the same way every day.

Days when I could do it well.
Days when, for some reason, nothing would get done.

I would search for the reason for that difference,
thinking, "I have to try harder,"
or "Why can't I do it today?"
and I would blame myself.

But looking back now,
it wasn't because I wasn't trying hard enough,
or because I was inefficient.

It was just that,
people have their ups and downs.
I have come to understand now,
that it was just that simple.

There is a reason for days when housework feels heavy

There are days when my body feels light from the morning,
and laundry, cleaning, and cooking,
all go smoothly.

Conversely,
there are days when I know I have to do things,
but my body just won't move.

Days when I'm still tired.
Days when my mind is easily distracted.
Days when, for no apparent reason,
everything just feels heavy.

On such days,
I am not being lazy,
I think my body is just asking for a rest.

Just as summer comes after spring,
and autumn comes after summer.

I have come to believe that people's hearts and bodies,
also have a natural cycle.

Body and life that change with the seasons

When spring comes,
I feel a bit lighter and want to tidy up.

When summer comes,
cooking with fire feels a bit burdensome.

When autumn comes,
I want to enjoy preserved foods and preparations.

When winter comes,
I crave warm soups and stews.

When the seasons change,
our bodies and minds change too.

So, I have come to think that it is okay for my lifestyle,
and how I approach housework, to change to suit who I am at that time.

Living in tune with who I am now

I used to,
always say to myself,
"I have to do this properly."
But now,

I think, today I have energy, so I'll use fermented foods and make a slightly elaborate meal.
Today I'm tired,

so I'll make do with what I have,
and let my pre-made dishes help me.
In that way,

I live while consulting with myself for that day.
Don't push myself.

Don't overreach.
Make choices that suit who I am now.
Just by doing that,

housework has become much kinder.

Housework was not something to be done perfectly, but something to be adjusted

I used to think,
that housework was something to be done properly every day.

But now it's different.
It's okay to have days when I put in effort.
It's okay to have days when I cut corners.

It's okay to have days when I work hard,
and it's okay to have days when I rest.

Just as the weather is different every day,
we are different every day too.

I have come to believe that housework,
doesn't always have to be the same.

I didn't have to carry it all alone

A big trigger for realizing that was when I hurt my foot.

I couldn't move as I wanted to,
and I had no choice but to rely on my family.

For the first time then,
I felt, "Oh, it's okay to rely on others."
The person who does the laundry.

The person who goes shopping.
The person who washes the dishes.
Each of them,

naturally did what they could.
I might have been convinced all along,

that housework was something I had to do myself.
But in reality,

a household was something to be supported by everyone,
from the very beginning.
The person who is good at it does it.

The person who can do it does it.
The person who is free does it.
Living while helping each other like that was much more natural and easier.

And,

just by saying "Thank you,"
the atmosphere in the house,
becomes softer.

"It's good enough for today" became my ally in housework

Cooking appliances I've relied on since I was raising children.
Washing machines with dryers.
Dishwashers.
And now, housework hacks like fermented seasonings, layered cooking, and pre-made dishes.

I am also being helped a lot by robot vacuums,
which didn't exist back then.
Such convenient tools and hacks,

are certainly allies in life.
Furthermore, what helps me even more,

might be my way of thinking.
I used to think,

if I'm going to make it, I should put in the effort.
That making it with effort,
meant I cared for my family,
that thought was somewhere inside me.
But now,

more than before,
I want to make things that are easier to make,
delicious,
and nutritious.
Because I realized that by letting go of trying so hard,

and prioritizing living comfortably and happily myself,
I can be kinder to my family and to myself.
So recently,

rather than forcing myself to work hard,
I have started choosing hacks that I can continue.

Getting help from fermented seasonings,
utilizing pre-made layered dishes,
leaving it to cooking appliances,

or leaving it to my family.
While repeating such small hacks,
the days when I can think,
"It's good enough for today,"

"This is enough for me right now,"
"I'll skip this today,"
have increased.
Instead of aiming for perfection,
adjusting to who I am that day.

Allowing myself to have ebbs and flows.
Even if there are days I can't do it,
accepting myself without blaming myself.
That,
has gradually changed housework into something kinder.

But even now, if I'm not careful,
I tend to try too hard.



For a long time,
trying hard was the norm,

so before I know it, without realizing it,
I end up trying too hard.
So recently, I consciously,
try not to overdo it.

Rest on days when I'm tired.
Rely on others when I can.

Get help from convenient things.
In that way,
I try to treat myself with care.

People are also part of nature.
There are sunny days,


and there are rainy days.
There are days when I'm energetic,
and days when I want to stop and rest a little.

The me who can do it.
The me who can't do it.

Both are the important me.

Don't blame yourself for not being able to do it,
accept that as me too.

Since I've been able to think that way,
I've been able to relax my shoulders little by little.

While matching the rhythm of nature.
While cherishing who I am that day.

Without pushing myself,
without trying too hard,
I go on living each day.

And now, I think like this.

The ally of housework,
is not a special tool,
or a special hack,
but "allowing yourself to have ebbs and flows."

And,
"accepting yourself as you are, even when you can't do it."

Furthermore,
"doing things that make you feel happy yourself."

It might be such small accumulations.

#EnjoyingLife
#Essay
#Housework
#CherishingYourself
#KitchenSelfCare
#HouseworkAlly