A Life-or-Death Return: Escaping New York During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Spring 2020, New York City, with lockdown looming.
My job, my daily life, my future—everything was disappearing.
To survive, I decided to 'escape' all on my own.
A record of those days when I risked my life to return to Japan.

March 2020.
In New York, all events, including concerts and tours, were being canceled one after another.
All plans until before the summer were wiped clean.

Even so, the schedule for the school where I taught violin hadn't changed for a while, so
I thought somewhere, 'Maybe there is still hope.'

But that was short-lived.
A few days later, the school was forced to close, and by mid-March, all my work had vanished.

When I woke up in the morning, the city was wrapped in a tension as if a war had begun.
That tension is something that cannot be expressed in words.

America is a country that has a military.
Unlike Japan, its constitution allows for the declaration of martial law in emergencies.
A world where everything is bound by law.
It is not the lukewarm 'request-based' talk like in Japan.

During COVID, a state of emergency was declared in America, and strong legal restrictions were imposed.
Although martial law was not actually declared, the atmosphere felt abnormally close to it.
The military was not directly mobilized, but the police strictly managed the streets.

Shops, restaurants, and cafes were all closed.
"Non-essential" things were completely shut down by law.

Only supermarkets were open, but
even at a small supermarket, there was a three-hour wait just to shop.
Since I live alone, I don't buy that much.
But because I was anxious, I felt it was better to have food, so I couldn't help but wait in line.
Furthermore, I heard that at large supermarkets, it took seven hours to shop.
There was also a rule that you had to keep two meters away from others, and it was truly a bizarre sight.

Just a little before that, a plumbing problem had occurred in my apartment.
Of course, in this situation, there was no way anyone could come to make repairs, and I couldn't move out either.
Living with a plumbing problem while under lockdown was absolutely impossible.

(Thinking about it now, perhaps my ancestors triggered the water problem at this timing
to guide me to return to Japan.
If there had been no water problem even with the lockdown, I likely would have remained in New York.)

Just imagining that,
I felt like my heart would break, thinking, 'I can't take this anymore.'

Even so, at that point, I didn't even have the concept of 'returning to Japan'.
I thought somewhere that I just had to somehow overcome this situation in New York.

Even under these circumstances, there was a part of me that was still somewhat dazed.
Honestly, there was a part of me that thought, 'Isn't everyone being a bit dramatic?'

But when I saw a friend on Instagram returning home for good, I was shocked.
In New York, there is a custom of putting large trash like furniture on side streets to be collected.
That friend put all their furniture out on the street to discard it, andposted, 'I'm rushing home,' just as the borders were closing.

Furthermore, I learned the reality that in Europe, borders were closing one after another,
and it was becoming impossible to even enter the country.

And when I heard a colleague, a fellow violin teacher at the same school (a grown adult),
say, 'I'm scared, so I evacuated to my mother's house,'
I was jolted back to reality.

Is this really that scary?
A sense of reality rushed over me, having been somewhat oblivious until then.

Adults were seriously saying they were "scared" and acting on it.
For the first time, I felt in my bones that this was no ordinary situation,
and that my life might truly be in danger.

In the midst of this, I consulted with my parents in Japan and one other person.
But the response I got was, "Don't you think you're being a bit too hasty?"

Honestly, hearing that made my stress feel like it was about to explode.
The state of being unable to make a decision was, more than anything, agonizing.
I felt like screaming, "Why can't anyone understand!"

Even though I had already started packing my things,
I was just confused, thinking, "Then what on earth am I supposed to do?!"

Even so, while I was lost, I just kept my hands moving.
Because if I stopped, I felt like I would never be able to move again.

Even going to buy cardboard boxes was a struggle.
I forced the large boxes onto my bicycle and somehow made it home, wobbling all the way.

As I packed my belongings, both my mind and body were long past their limits.
I could clearly feel the sensation of my stomach dissolving from stress.

Even so, I set a timer for 30 minutes,
and forced my body, which just wanted to sleep, to wake up.

I had to talk to myself and literally pat my own rear,
and if I didn't call out, "Get up, get up!", I couldn't get up anymore.

On my own, it was no longer possible.
I was completely at my limit.
But there was no one to help me.

Still, I had to get the packing done.

I managed to book a flight.
But there was no guarantee it would actually fly on the day.

What if the storage facility closed down?
What if the taxi didn't show up?
What if I went to the airport and the plane didn't take off?

When I called the storage facility, I only got a cold reply saying, "There's no guarantee we'll be open tomorrow either."
Moreover, their attitude was terrible, which only added to my anxiety.

It was as if I were balancing countless puzzle pieces on a knife's edge.
If even one of them collapsed, it would be completely over.

Everything was a gamble.

Still, the taxi came.
I was able to check my bags safely.
I was able to enter the airport.
And the plane, it actually took off.

When I arrived in Japan, I finally thought from the bottom of my heart,
"Ah, I really made it back."

But due to the extreme stress and exhaustion, I immediately collapsed into bed.
I was suspected of having COVID-19 and was tested at a hospital, but it was negative.
(When I told them I had come from New York, they urged me to come to the hospital for testing immediately. At the time, testing kits were in short supply, and it wasn't a situation where anyone could easily get tested.)

I think it was only natural that I collapsed, given that extreme state.

And when I finally arrived in Japan, it was surprisingly peaceful.

I could go to the supermarket as usual.
I could go to the home improvement store (which would be completely treated as "non-essential" in America) as usual.
People were walking outside as usual.
My family was still commuting as usual.

Seeing that scene, I was truly stunned.
I felt from the bottom of my heart, "The world is so different."

I was enjoying the peaceful, lukewarm bath-like atmosphere of Japan and the Indian summer weather.

However, the lockdown was still continuing in New York.

In the beginning, there was no government aid if you caught COVID-19,
and rumors were circulating that it would cost nearly 8 million yen out of pocket.
In particular, if you were admitted to the ICU or used a ventilator, medical expenses would skyrocket,
and cases costing nearly 10 million yen were being covered in the news.
(The American medical system is completely broken to begin with.)

So, it seems there were many people who couldn't go to the hospital even if they wanted to.

A little while later, the federal government created special measures (the CARES Act),
and a system was established where medical expenses would be covered if you were officially diagnosed with COVID-19.
But until then, it was truly a life-or-death situation.

In any case, the danger in New York just kept exceeding my imagination.
I truly felt from the bottom of my heart that I was glad I had the courage to leave at that time.

And as I was healed by the peaceful, bath-like daily life in Japan,
at the same time, I began to notice a sense of discomfort that I couldn't quite satisfy.

Wanting to experience something beautiful,
I decided to head to Kyoto—.

(To be continued)

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#WroteANote