To me, who says "I'm sorry" before "Thank you"

When someone does something for me,

If I could honestly say "Thank you," my heart would surely feel lighter.

But for some reason, "I'm sorry" comes out first.

It's not because I lack kindness—

I think it's because I am blaming myself.

When "feeling sorry" stops gratitude

One day, I heard these words:

"There's something I want to do, but I feel I can't because I'd have to leave my child home alone."

That person felt they were "sacrificing" their child.

But when I heard that, I thought this:

Is that really a "sacrifice"?

"Thank you for letting me do this"

"Thank you for waiting for me"

If you can think that way, you should be able to see a different world.

I, too, used to blame myself.

When I first started fortune-telling, I was the same way.

I am doing something pitiful to my children.

Am I a failure as a mother?

That is how I kept blaming myself all the time.

When I did that, even while doing the things I wanted to do,

I felt sorry somewhere in my heart, and only guilt would grow.

"I'm home early."

"I'm taking care of things at home properly, too."

I would make excuses as if to protect myself,

and even though no one said anything, I was trying to get "forgiveness" on my own.

When I couldn't feel gratitude, I was only looking at myself.

When that happens, gratitude cannot be born.

I cannot simply accept what the other person has done for me with a "thank you".

This is because when I am blaming myself, I lose the capacity to see the other person.

When I am consumed by guilt,

I become so preoccupied with whether I am doing things right,

that I become unable to see what the other person is thinking.

Gratitude begins with not blaming oneself.

I, who couldn't say "thank you".

I, who said "I'm sorry" first.

But, in truth, I had always wanted to say thank you.

Instead of blaming myself for doing what I want to do,

to the person who let me do it,

to the children who waited for me,

if I could just convey a "thank you"—

I think that in that moment, the world will change to be a little kinder.

Conclusion

When you cannot feel grateful to someone,

if you can realize that you are blaming yourself,

I want you to gently embrace that feeling.

"I don't have to blame myself"

"It's okay to say thank you"

In that way, from guilt to gratitude,

I hope we can gradually change the cycle of the world🌿