That's a false accusation!
“How you perceive things is decided within your own heart.”
I wanted to do some computer work, so I was working at the counter in my favorite eating area when a man asked me, “Is this seat taken?”
When I arrived, all the seats were empty, so I had put my bag on the chair next to me, but by the time he asked, I realized almost all the seats were filled.
“Oh!! I’m so sorry. Please, go ahead,” I said, hurriedly moving my bag from the chair next to me.
I moved my laptop and stationery on the desk toward myself, wondering if I was in his way or if it was too cramped.
When I asked, “Is it too cramped? Are you okay?”...
The man, for some reason, was in a rather angry mode.
“The width is not narrow!!”
was his reply... Huh?! Why?
Is he angry?
When I turned to look at him properly...
The man had a rather plump physique...
For a moment, I almost laughed, thinking his reply was a joke, a comedy bit, or humor.
But he seemed to be genuinely angry...
“I’m innocent!!” was what I felt like saying.
There are times when I reflect that I need to be more careful about how I convey things, but this time,
“I don’t have to take the other person’s hurt as my own fault.”
I felt a sense of growth in myself for being able to think that way.
I did nothing wrong, and no one did anything wrong♡
I held back the urge to laugh, and while eating my favorite Kanpei orange, I savored that happiness♡
Even now, when I remember it,
“The width is not narrow!!”
the man’s choice of words was brilliant, and it was funny like a skit!
This humor might only be understood by me, lol,
but I’ll leave it here.
(≧▽≦)
To explain a bit more seriously,
it’s a phenomenon where your wounds ache when something you’re self-conscious about is touched upon.
For example, I have a huge complex about having a wide forehead,
and because my parents called me “debochin” (big forehead) and said I had a flat nose...
I grew up thinking I was ugly.
And every time someone said to me,“You have a wide forehead,”it felt like they were saying,“You’re ugly,”and it made me feel terrible.
No matter how much people tried to compliment me, saying, “Your wide forehead is lovely. People with wide foreheads are smart,”
I only thought they were being sarcastic, and it just annoyed me...
“This person is saying this to be mean,”was all I could think,
so I felt irritated by them...
Until I grew up, studied psychology, healed myself, and learned to accept who I am, I genuinely hated having my “forehead” brought up,
and I was extremely sensitive to the phrase “wide forehead.”
Back then, even if someone was genuinely trying to compliment me, I would adamantly refuse to accept it...
Even though they were complimenting me, I thought, “This person is definitely making fun of me!”
If, just if, I had been raised by my parents from a young age being told,
“Your forehead is wide and so cute! It’s the best!”
then...
I’m sure that every time my “forehead” was mentioned,
I would have felt like I was being complimented and been thrilled...
is what I think.
This is just a guess, though...
How people perceive things varies from person to person.
Knowing that we perceive things the way we want to perceive them makes life easier.
Why don't we interpret things in a way that makes us feel comfortable?
****************
That is precisely why,
like the past me lol,serious and perfectionistic,,hardworking,and
overly victim-conscious,andkindpeople tend to take everything as“their own fault.”
It’s easy to blame yourself,but even if the other person is angry, you don’t have to take that into your own world and
blame yourself,okay? ♡(Intentionally making someone angry is out of the question.)
It’s okay.
The other person’s domain is their own business.(Maybe it’s easier to understand if you think of it as “the other person’s emotions”)
You are you.
I am me.
Drawing a boundary with the other personwill make things easier for you ♡
*****************♪
Even so, that person today...
I wish they would become a comedian... lol
Thank you for today as well.
