[Menopausal Living🍀] The comfortable cycle with my family I gained by letting go of "doing everything myself"

"Living by Trying Ease" Vol. 168

The theme for June is "Softness" x Logical Living

In this note, I write about the small realizations I find in my daily life as a woman in the menopausal generation.
For the June kanji, I chose "Softness".
Instead of blaming myself, I choose to understand myself.
Instead of piling on unreasonable demands, I choose to create a system that allows me to live comfortably.
Not just by feeling, but a little logically.
But, softly.
With that perspective, I will record a life that nurtures both mind and body.
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🍀After the first week of "Nurturing the Body," the second week of "Nurturing Life," and the third week of "Nurturing the Mind," we enter the fourth week of "Living Softly."
What I realized after reaching menopause is
the importance of living softly rather than living strongly.

Instead of continuing to push myself, I let go of the unreasonable.
Instead of carrying everything alone, I rely on someone. Instead of trying to change people, I accept our differences.

The second half of life is not about adding more things, but
a time to organize things to live more like myself.

This week, with the theme of "Living Softly,"
I will write about my relationship with my partner, the distance between family members,
relying on others, letting go,
and life after menopause.

May the hearts of those living through similar fluctuations feel a little lighter.
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January was the month of organizing life. "Earth"
February was the month of trusting the organized life. "Root"
March was the month of "unraveling" life and weaving "calm." "Sprouting"
April was the month of receiving a fulfilling life. "Fullness"
May was the month of circulating what has been filled. "Circulation"
June is the month of returning gently to oneself. "Softness"
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[Menopausal Living🍀] The comfortable cycle with my family I gained by letting go of "doing everything myself"

I was bad at relying on others.
Even when I was in trouble or tired,
I would say I was fine.
I do what I can do myself.
I thought that was natural.
In fact, I thought it was a strength to work hard without relying on others.
But as I got older,
that way of thinking has changed little by little.

I was too used to working hard alone

Looking back, I have always supported my life by working hard.
Housework.
Child-rearing.
Work.
Household finances.
Managing family schedules.
Acting before someone else is troubled.
Doing things before being asked.
Thinking that whoever notices should just do it.
That's how I thought.

But as a result,
before I knew it, I was carrying everything.
And then, reaching menopause,
my body and mind stopped working like they used to.
Fatigue doesn't go away.
I can't push myself.
My energy doesn't last.
I was bewildered by myself like that.

I couldn't say "Help me"

"Help me."
Why couldn't I say those words?

If I rely on others, I'll be a burden.
I'll be thought of as weak.
I'll be thought of as someone who can't do things properly.
I had those assumptions.

But the truth was different.
Relying on others is different from being irresponsible.
Asking for help is different from being lazy.
Yet for a long time, I didn't know where that boundary was.

What menopause taught me

Menopause might not be a time that teaches us what we can no longer do, but a time that teaches us that we don't have to push ourselves.

Things I could work hard at before,
I can't work hard at now.
Accepting that fact wasn't easy.
But I started to think little by little.

If there's a day I can't do it, I should just rest.
I should just get help.
I should just rely on others.
That way, I can live longer and in a better mood.
I feel like my menopausal body
is teaching me that.

I thought about it logically
This month, I have "living logically" as a sub-theme.
So I thought about relying on others.
Doing everything alone.
I get tired.
I lose my composure.
I get irritable.
I can't be kind to my family either.
On the other hand,
relying a little.
Letting go a little.
Resting a little.
Then, composure is born.
I can spend my time in a good mood.
As a result, my relationship with my family also improves.
Thinking about it that way,
relying on others is not a weakness,
but perhaps a wisdom for organizing life.

Today's Life Memo✍️ & Thought Log📝

• The high temperature is 26℃☁️

• The moon moves from Libra to the Scorpio area at 15:43 today🌙

• Watching Chloe and Emma, their mountain climbing together is just irresistible♡

• Right now, I'm totally hooked on "Unmet"!! I'm crying every day (lol). I'm so happy to hear there will be a sequel next January😍

Thank you for reading this far again today.

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