Ways of Living and Thinking Learned from Buddhism: 'Children of Buddha'

I once saw a program on television that tested how long mothers could go without getting angry at their children.

Several cameras were set up in the living room of a house to capture the interactions between the mother and her child.

At first, the mother would gently reason with the child or play along, but as soon as the child got bored, started throwing a tantrum, or made a mess, she would end up getting angry and scolding them just as she always did, often in less than a few hours.

The intent of the program was surely to encourage mothers to be as gentle as possible, but contrary to those wishes, it seems quite difficult to put into practice.

But think about it carefully.

What if the person you were angry at wasn't your child, but your boss or a senior colleague at work?

You certainly wouldn't be able to get angry at them the way you do with your child, would you?

Even if they did the same thing, you would likely endure it, offer a polite smile, and somehow get through the situation, even if it caused you stress.

In other words, you are only able to get angry because the other person is your "child," and from the child's perspective, they are "letting you get angry at them."

When people do things for their children, they often find themselves feeling like they are "doing them a favor."

Don't you raise them while thinking, "I am feeding them," "I am playing with them," or "I am taking care of their needs"?

And sometimes you might think, "What a handful this child is!" or "They would be lost without me."

But it is precisely those children who make you feel lonely once they grow up and no longer need your help.

And that is when you realize that what you thought was "raising them" was actually "being allowed to raise them."

In Buddhist teachings, there is a concept called 'man' (arrogance).

'Man' refers to seeing oneself as "superior," and 'manshin' is the heart that thinks this way.

In other words, it is the heart that thinks one is greater than others and that one is doing so much for them.

In fact, even for renowned monks, it is said that understanding and mastering the heart of arrogance is "quite difficult."

When one completes their training, a sense of arrogance inevitably arises from the feeling of accomplishment.

'Jiman' (boasting), originally, refers to showing off by saying, "Look what I can do; isn't it amazing?"

It can be said that this is a mindset common among those who are 'successful' or 'skilled at something'.

However, in the example mentioned earlier, that is like saying to a child, 'I am the one raising you,' or 'You would be in trouble if I weren't here.'

But in reality, it is important to show gratitude to your child by saying, 'Thank you for letting me raise you,' or 'I am truly happy to be your parent.'

Even so, when they spill juice on the carpet or leave their clothes scattered while playing, you inevitably end up getting angry 'in the heat of the moment,' don't you? Since parents are also human, ordinary people with worldly desires, that is 'unavoidable.' In fact, 'no one' can completely suppress arrogance.

But how about looking at your child's sleeping face after they have fallen asleep and offering a prayer with a heart full of gratitude, saying, 'Thank you for letting me get angry so much today,' or 'You are my Buddha'?
　
Surely, such feelings will eventually reach your child, and you will be able to build a relationship overflowing with love, won't you?

☆Today's Verse☆

Thank you
　　　　　You are my
　　　　　　　　　　Buddha