Disposition II [Essay] 1800 characters

I was the kind of child who finished summer vacation homework in the first half.
Some classmates would panic after the Obon holiday (in my hometown of Hokkaido, the autumn semester starts after the 20th), but I was the opposite. I think I reasoned as a child that if I suffered through the hard work first, things would be easier later. At first glance, I might have looked like a diligent child. But I just wanted to get the hard work out of the way to be comfortable later; at my core, I am lazy.

However, finishing things early doesn't always mean everything will go well.

It was when I was in the fourth or fifth grade of elementary school. My teacher caught me having written my picture diary entries in advance. "Kikuchi! It wasn't sunny that day, was it? You did it again, didn't you?" I was pointed out. The day I had written as sunny was actually a typhoon. Nowadays, you can look it up on the internet, but back then, there was no such convenient thing. It was the result of getting too far ahead of the future.

This personality hasn't changed much even now that I am seventy-five.

I live alone and cook for myself, but I cannot stand letting dirty dishes pile up. It's because it becomes a chore after I finish eating. So, I wash the bowls as they become empty during the meal.
Since I can't eat everything at once like I did when I was young, I often put my chopsticks down halfway through. I clean up at those times. It might make others feel uneasy, but it's convenient for me. I wash them each time, and by the time I finish eating, the cleanup is already done.
I don't do this when I'm eating with just a guest, of course. But when it's a dinner party of three or more, I get it done while the others are busy talking.

It's not just dishes. I want to take care of troublesome or anxiety-inducing things in advance.

In my first year as a working adult, just after getting my driver's license, I used to do things like this. Especially when I had a date with someone I really liked.
When heading to a place I'd never been before via the Shuto Expressway, I would drive the route the night before. The Shuto Expressway is narrow and the junctions are complex. What if I take the wrong road? What if I miss the exit? This was an era without car navigation systems. Such anxieties would come first, so I would drive the empty Shuto Expressway in the middle of the night, map in hand, as a rehearsal. Thinking about it now, it was quite dramatic, but thanks to that, I could drive with peace of mind on the actual day.

It was the same for meeting up in the days before smartphones. Arriving thirty minutes early was a given. Sometimes I would even arrive an hour early. It wasn't impossible to mistake the meeting time by an hour. Better safe than sorry.
Conversely, I wouldn't leave easily when the other person didn't show up. They might have gone to the wrong place and be on their way now. They might have misunderstood the time. So, I decided to wait at least an hour. And if the person I was waiting for didn't show up, I would write on the "message board": "I waited for an hour, but I'm going home. Tears."

Looking back like this, I feel that I have walked through life believing, "The hardship of today leads to the future. I can be comfortable later."

After graduating from university, I was invited by the owner of my part-time job to try my hand at a newly started family restaurant business, and I failed. I spent my twenties chasing that dream I couldn't let go of.
From my thirties, I spent seventeen years commuting with two bento boxes, one of which served as my late-night meal, after choosing a company that was trying to do correspondence education—specifically training translators—which was considered dubious.
Despite having made it to an executive position at that company, I clashed with the president, and in the end, knowing the hardships involved, I tried my hand at the dawn of the internet and went independent at forty-seven.
Twenty years later. Having managed to find a sense of satisfaction, I wound up the company. Now, I am writing essays.

There was a long period where I struggled quite a bit.
Just because you struggle first doesn't mean things will necessarily be easier later. Sometimes you fail even though you did it for the sake of the future. Sometimes you prepare but aren't rewarded.
However, what I can say is that perhaps the depth of a person comes from the amount of hardship they have endured. I think so when I look at my friends who have known hardship.

A disposition is something that doesn't change easily.
I am often thought of as a worrier, but for the record, my blood type is O. It seems there is no scientific basis for blood type and personality, though. My father was type B and my mother was type A. Perhaps my reckless father's "O" and my worrier mother's "O" combined to create "OO".

Even so, I will probably wash the dishes first tomorrow, too. I will likely arrive early for meetings. If I go to a new place, I will likely leave the house with plenty of time to spare. It's not because I'm a worrier. On the contrary, I think it has to do with my "OO" type personality, which has been actually lazy since elementary school, trying to make things easier for myself later on.

※ This essay is an expansion of the 600-character "Disposition" I uploaded in the past.

(Bonus)
"Democratic Party for the People, you too!"
You tend to think, "Are you even Japanese if you can't show respect to the national flag?" Especially since everyone is excited about the World Cup, even more so. It really came at this time, didn't it.
There's another motive, isn't there? Looking at the recent series of movements. I think it's very dangerous. You're okay with that, right? I'll talk about this again later.