A Healing Space for Highly Sensitive People | Anko-san's Counseling Experience

I am Kyoko Maru, a writer.
This time, I would like to write about my experience receiving online counseling.

About Anko-san, the psychological therapist

The person I had the pleasure of receiving counseling from is psychological therapist Anko-san.

As a "therapist who helps true feelings bloom," Anko-san provides safe spaces for highly sensitive people, as well as courses and sessions.

Anko-san is very kind and gentle. Perhaps because she is from the Kansai region, she has a friendly atmosphere amidst her elegance, allowing even those who are shy to relax and talk.

Anko-san's counseling experience report

I experienced Anko-san's counseling once every two weeks for a total of five sessions.

The guilt within me comes to the surface

First, the initial day.
In a calm atmosphere, we focused on my childhood.

Relationships with my parents, younger brother, and grandmother I lived with, as well as experiences at nursery school. I talked about past experiences I don't usually tell people, and I felt healed just by that.

During our conversation, it was pointed out that

is a word that appears often in what I say.

When it was pointed out, I thought that was true. Also, I realized that I often found myself saying

as well.

In my case, the words above stem from the fact that I often faced jealousy and envy since I was a child.

Being the target of jealousy and envy means I must have excelled at something more than others, and it's hard to confide in people about the pain that causes because it might just invite more envy.

I felt that it was precisely because it was a counseling setting that I could safely talk about these experiences.

Focusing on emotions I cannot find on my own

Since a large part of my struggles has been related to my relationship with my mother, I also talked deeply about her. In doing so, unexpectedly, I realized I

That phrase came up.

I was surprised, as I had always focused on the negative aspects of my mother's influence.

But in truth, I deeply respected my mother, who worked hard and built a successful career. She was a beautiful woman, had a good relationship with my father, and I was proud of her as a woman.

The positive feelings toward my mother only emerged because Anko-san subtly guided me there. I don't think I could have recognized this without receiving counseling.

It was an experience where I was able to unravel my hidden emotions through my conversation with Anko-san.

Tears during guided meditation

At the end of the counseling session, for me, who felt guilty, she provided aguided meditation to feel warm emotions. I sometimes do meditation on my own, but having someone guide me makes for a different, deeper experience.

I thought meditating while on ZOOM might be distracting, but with Anko-san's gentle voice, I was able to focus easily. I remembered a warm moment with my current partner, and tears just started falling.

Even after I opened my eyes, that soft, gentle feeling lingered.

Healing the inner child

In the second and subsequent counseling sessions, I even encountered my inner child.

I had read about the inner child in books, but this was my first time actually meeting one in my imagination.

This, too, was thanks toAnko-san's deeply healing guidance, which allowed me to meet my inner child with peace of mind.

My inner child was completely worn out.
Like a child suffering from starvation, she was skin and bones and couldn't even stand up. She was in a place that looked like a pitch-black basement.

Oh, I realized I had been pushing myself so hard.

And since she taught me how to heal my inner child, I worked on it in my daily life.

Changes after counseling

There were various changes after the counseling, so I will write those down as well.

Wrote a letter to my mother

After the first counseling session, since Mother's Day was approaching, I wrote a letter to go with the gift I was sending my mother. I expressed the feelings of respect that had come up during the counseling. It was the first time I had ever told my mother that.

They were very pleased.

Of course, a long-standing relationship with a mother cannot be healed in one session, but I felt I was able to overcome one major emotional hurdle.

Self-talk

The feeling of "guilt" that is deeply ingrained within me.

To dispel this, I was taught how to talk to myself. It's not something you should just do at any time; the timing of the self-talk is also important, apparently. I took notes as I listened.

I'm the type of person who finds things like self-talk or affirmations to be a huge hassle. But it's strange how, when I getsupport like this, I feel like I can give it a try.

As I continued the self-talk taught to me by Anko-san in my heart, a sense of security began to spread within me.

I was able to participate in a gathering of people with peace of mind

I am terrible at large gatherings.
I get tired, and I end up blaming myself for not being able to handle things well.

Through Anko-san's counseling, I realized there was another version of myself—one that "blames myself" and "constantly monitors myself," as if I were acting as a substitute for my mother.

And after five sessions of counseling with Anko-san, a challenge awaited me: attending an event with a large crowd of people.

I would usually decline, but I had a desire to see my own changes, so I decided to participate.

As a result, I was able to spend time among the crowd much more calmly than usual.

Honestly, I wouldn't say it was fun.
But I didn't have that unpleasant feeling I usually get on the way home, and I wasn't exhausted and drained.

Perhaps it was because the "me who monitors and blames" was not there.

Being able to finish that day safely was a huge, huge step forward.

There are things you cannot do alone

I usually like to face my own heart. But there are many things I cannot do by myself.

The healing that comes from interacting with a therapist in this way was a truly wonderful experience.

For those who don't have the courage to jump straight into counseling, why not try participating in the online tea parties that Anko-san hosts?

I recommend them because you can have a relaxed chat with Anko-san over Zoom while drinking tea. Please try to experience Anko-san's gentle atmosphere for yourself.

And if you find yourself thinking, "I want to open up more about my worries to Anko-san!", then I highly encourage you to experience healing through her counseling.

Thank you for reading.

▼ As a commemoration of my 100-day note posting streak, I am writing experience reports for services offered by fellow noters! I have already started receiving applications. The offer is open until the end of September, so please feel free to contact me via the article below.

* Click here for Maru Kyoko's profile and writing requests

* Managed websites

・ "Kyo Machi Aruki," a local media outlet where a Kyoto transplant shares the charm of Kyoto

・ "Kyoto Historical Figure Exploration," a site for touring Kyoto with historical figures as the theme