A Story of Overcoming Breastfeeding and Bottle Refusal (Nursing Strike)

Hello. I would like to record how I faced and overcame one of the rare parenting struggles: breastfeeding and bottle refusal (nursing strike).

Babies who completely refuse breast milk, formula, and bottles do exist.

My son's nursing strike lasted from two months old until he was six months old. Even after six months, he forever hated formula, and only drank a little when he was hungry because he got used to it. (My breast milk stopped coming around three months due to a decrease in stimulation and my own stress.)

At first, I raised him almost exclusively on breast milk. At his one-month checkup, it was going so well that I was told, "It's amazing that he's grown this much on breast milk alone!" However, after he turned two months old, he gradually started crying while drinking or even refusing to latch on. It wasn't because of a loud noise or me feeling anxious; it happened suddenly. And he wouldn't drink formula either. The number of times he would latch on with his mouth really decreased, and he started to lose weight. He would also get very upset if I tried to put anything in his mouth using a spoon, dropper, or cup. He seemed to like water or barley tea, but he simply would not drink breast milk or formula, even if it was expressed.

Going to a Large Pediatric Specialty Hospital

I rushed to a nearby pediatrician and a large pediatric specialty hospital for a breastfeeding clinic, but no one could figure out the cause. There were no issues with the state of my breast milk or how I was feeding him the formula, and nothing was understood. Finally, because he was drinking so little, we ended up in the emergency room and he had to be put on an IV. I was in shock and felt pathetic for my own helplessness, and I could only cry during the examination. My son looked very healthy and had a good complexion, but I just kept blaming myself. Even though my son was healthy, it was truly painful to watch him gradually become thin and frail.

Facing the Personality of Disliking Breast Milk and Formula

After as many detailed examinations as possible, there were no abnormalities. The result was that it was just his "personality." It is said that babies aged two to three months have immature tongues, but my son had a "personality of disliking formula," whether it was the taste he disliked or the texture. Even at large hospitals and health centers, I was told there were "no precedents," and without being able to find specific cases or countermeasures, I had no choice but to accept his personality.

However, when I searched on Twitter, I learned that there are many mothers struggling with children who won't drink breast milk or formula. What everyone there was working on was "putting them to sleep and then feeding them."
Thinking back, I realized he drank relatively smoothly when he was dozing off, and when I let him latch onto the bottle at the moment of falling asleep, he started drinking with great intensity.

To Cure Refusal, "Sleep-Feeding" is One Shortcut

"Sleep-feeding" was effective in curing the nursing strike. I prepared the formula in advance, and at the moment he became sleepy, I made sure to keep his head as elevated as possible and thoroughly made him latch onto the bottle to drink. In any case, while he was awake, I didn't show him the formula and refrained from making him latch on. Then, although it took about one to two weeks, the amount he drank gradually increased, and he became less resistant to latching onto the bottle even while awake (though he still didn't drink much).
For me, it was a big step forward.

Consulting with Your Family Doctor Before Proceeding

At first, I was worried, wondering, "Is it okay to keep feeding him while he's asleep?" so I went to ask my family doctor. They replied, "If you are watching him closely and he is not uncomfortable, it is fine. Unlike adults, babies have a structure that allows them to breathe through their noses while drinking, and it is better than not drinking at all," so I started to actively incorporate sleep-feeding.

[Hypothesis] What are the Causes of a Nursing Strike and the Process of Improvement?

This is my own observation and only a hypothesis, but I think that when a nursing strike occurs, the baby develops a negative image of breast milk, formula, or the bottle, leading to a feeling of "I don't like this," and I think their reason works while they are awake, so they don't drink. Therefore, I think their instincts work while they are asleep, and they will drink if they are hungry.
By drinking while asleep, I think there are many cases where the negative image they had of breast milk, formula, or the bottle is forgotten as the days go by, and it heals. (This is truly my personal observation.)

Honestly, the Amount Drunk via Sleep-Feeding is Small

Honestly, even if they become able to drink formula, the amount does not increase. Referring to what the doctor told me, "It is just a guideline, but I want you to feed them weight (kg) x 100cc x 1.5. However, if they are drinking more than 1/3 of that guideline amount, you don't need to worry too much about dehydration," I used that as a reference to increase the number of times I fed him. I think my son's formula amount was about weight (kg) x 100cc x 0.9. Once baby food started, the amount would decrease if he ate, but until then, I was very nervous about feeding him formula to ensure he didn't get dehydrated.

The Intense Personality Continues! Obsession with Drinking Posture

Furthermore, my son absolutely would not drink unless he was in a fully flat position. I think this continued from when he was two months old until he was about eight months old. This was truly exhausting.
Although he started to drink a little even when awake, he wouldn't reach the minimum daily amount unless I increased the frequency, so I was breastfeeding/bottle-feeding him 10 to 15 times a day. Moreover, because he wouldn't drink unless he was in a fully flat position, he wouldn't drink while being held. Whenever we went out, I had no choice but to bring a thick bath towel or create a fully flat position in the stroller. I felt painful many times, thinking that people around me must see me as a cold mother. Even so, if that was what my son wanted, I had no choice but to do it.

Occasionally, the number of times he would drink when I tried to feed him while holding him increased, and from around nine months old, I was able to feed him while holding him with his head properly raised more often. I was so happy. Maybe because I was so happy that my face relaxed, my son would sometimes burst into laughter, haha.
That's how happy I was to be able to feed him formula while holding him normally.

Please Watch Over Breastfeeding and Formula/Bottle Refusal Warmly

It is not uncommon for people who don't know this fact to not believe me or to send me curious looks. However, such a personality really does exist. And it is very painful that there is no complete food for babies other than formula.
At the children's center, a veteran childcare worker even asked me, "Does that really happen?" and there were times when he would wake up and cry while I was trying to feed him, and they would take the baby away from me without asking. It was very painful. However, when I told them the facts and what I had been doing, the number of people who understood gradually increased. It was little by little, but I was saved by the changing responses of those around me.
Having people around you understand is a very big thing.

(Update) My son, now 1 year and 3 months old, loves both baby food and milk.

I believe my son was around 1 year old when I wrote this article, but he will be 1 year and 4 months old in a few days. My son is now 1 year and 3 months old, and surprisingly, he now wants milk from a bottle and has started eating baby food very well. In fact, from around 10 months to 1 year and 1 month old, his refusal of baby food became severe; there were days when he would eat almost nothing for a meal, and even when he did eat all three meals, he would only consume about half the reference amount written in parenting books. Then, after he started daycare before turning 1, it got even worse, and there were times when he would only take one bite of lunch and his snack, which really broke my heart. Around 1 year and 2 months old, he started eating a little bit of what he wanted, but he wanted to play at the table, and his so-called 'play-eating' became severe, resulting in him becoming a child who wouldn't eat unless I gave him toys to play with or let him watch TV. However, following guidance from the hospital,
I focused on making him feel the joy of eating only during mealtime! I created an environment where he could only see his food, without TV or toys, and I completely stopped feeding him with a spoon myself.When he started playing or stopped eating, I would take the food away and supplement with high-calorie snacks when he got hungry, and then,he gradually started reaching for the baby food himself and eating it, and he began to show more interest. Then, strangely enough, when he sees a bottle, he wants milk too.It really is mysterious. It makes you anxious about the future when a child has no interest in food, including breast milk or formula, but I felt it was a sign of growth and individuality, realizing that the time to take an interest comes at different times for different people.

You are not alone in a nursing strike.

I felt so lonely until I searched on Twitter. All the time.
But if you search, I think you will find people in the same situation. I hope this article of mine can also be something that provides comfort to someone.

Someday, it will change to regular meals.
My child doesn't eat much, but even so, things are changing little by little. Every time there is one of those changes, the nursing strike turns into a memory.

May someone struggling with a nursing strike today, and tomorrow, be able to feel positive.