[Movie Review: '90 Meters'] I couldn't say 'I'm sorry.' The 'karma' of being a mother, exposed in the movie '90 Meters'.
Actually, my first post last time.
I was so nervous that I forgot to say 'Nice to meet you,' and I was completely carried away.
I am such a clumsy person, but today I really want to talk about a story that moved me so much at the preview screening that I was trembling.
The other day, I went to see the movie '90 Meters'.
During the screening, I could hear the sound of people sniffling here and there in the quiet theater.
……I was one of them.
What was projected on the screen was truly the very 'karma' of the creature known as a 'mother'.
Why is it that I can only express my love for my son so clumsily?
I should just speak honestly, but our words keep missing each other.
I want them to understand, but I end up saying things in a prickly way.
The nights I apologize to their sleeping face, thinking, 'I shouldn't have said it like that'—.
In that moment, I am desperate and lash out based on my emotions. Even though I always regret it later, I can't shake it off at the time, and now I find myself remembering, 'I shouldn't have said it like that back then.'
Miho Kanno's performance as the mother was truly 'divine'.
The frustration, despair, and faint light of a mother that cannot be put into words…….
Every move she made seemed to speak for the 'emotions I had kept under wraps' that were sleeping deep in my heart.
Motoki Ohmori's song '0.2mm' seeped into my heart—which had been confronted with such stinging 'karma as a mother'—gently, yet deeply.
'I'm home, hey listen, welcome back, what kind of day did you have?'
This casual exchange. The depth of the feelings behind it makes my tears overflow again.
'No matter where I am, no matter what I am doing, you are in my heart.'
No matter what I am doing, no matter what I am wearing, you are always in my heart.
Your existence breathes through every part of my life.
'You live in everything'
I imagine there isn't a mother who wouldn't have her emotions stirred by this phrase.
I felt that even the 'karma' I sensed in the film seemed to melt into this love, which exists at such a close, heartbreaking distance of '0.2mm'.
Raising children is truly difficult, with no clear right answers.
There are so many things I would do over if I could.
'We are only human, mistakes are part of it'
Even as I tell myself that, if only it were possible.
For those of you who are currently in a position to face your children, I want you to have many honest conversations with them.
Including my own lingering regrets, I couldn't help but wish for that strongly.
I can't quite put it into words, but I am writing down the 'weight' and 'preciousness' that this movie and song left behind, as an important part of who I am now.