🏘️If I had known about this town back then, I wouldn't have cried over okonomiyaki【& I'm opening a cafe☕️ on note!】

【note is a 'town'】I learned this phrase last month.
(Well, I had seen it, but I mean I 'recognized it'.)

When I first heard that phrase,
I tilted my head just a little.

However, after learning that phrase,
and looking at note from that perspective,
I was convinced that it was indeed true.

There are all kinds of people in this town.

Over the past few months, I've walked through the town of note
and met many people.
I've encountered many ways of thinking.
I've caught glimpses of many lives.

What surprised me among them was
that I learned that on note,
there are many people recuperating or hospitalized due to physical illness,
people on career breaks due to mental health issues,
and also many people currently raising children.

This is just my personal impression, but
many of the people I mentioned above
are people who find it difficult to go outside easily.

Such 'people who find it difficult to go outside'
are writing about their thoughts and daily lives
very naturally within note.

That seemed mysterious to me,
but also like a very wonderful thing.

Because, even though they certainly
'cannot go outside right now',
here they are properly
spending time as 'a member of the town'.

Even while inside the house, or on a hospital bed,
or in a dimly lit room after putting a child to sleep.
They are living their days
within this town called note.

Seeing that, I suddenly remembered.

The days when I myself
was once afraid to go outside.

Here, there is
an atmosphere where you can 'be yourself'.

And that was
something that the me of the pastdesperately wanted.

The me of those days, who couldn't go outside

For about half a year after giving birth to my child,
I lived almost entirely inside the house.

Going out with a newborn was scarier than I had imagined.

'What if something happens on the street?'
'If they cry on the train or in a cafe, can I handle it properly?'

Such anxieties always came first,
and before I knew it,
I had locked myself inside the house.

Outside the window,
the seasons were changing little by little,
but I felt like I had been left behind
by that flow of time.

The world was getting further and further away.
Tormented by loneliness,
it felt like I was surrounded by invisible walls.

At that time,
my husband had to go on an overnight business trip to Kansai.

I had anxiety about doing childcare alone for a few days, but
what made my heart churn more than that was
the fact that my husband could freely go 'outside'.

He got on the Shinkansen, went to my hometown,
and while he surely did his work,
he ate delicious food,
and then returned lightly.

The first thing I asked my husband
when he returned from his business trip
was, "What did you eat?"

My husband said it without any malice.

"Okonomiyaki."

The moment I heard that answer,
I couldn't stop my tears.

The scent of okonomiyaki, which shouldn't have been there,
brushed past my nose.
Bonito flakes dancing, the faint aroma of green seaweed.
In my mind,
the image of freshly grilled okonomiyaki appeared vividly.

I cannot leave this house.
But my husband was free to walk the streets,
and came home after eating whatever he liked.

I was unbearably envious of that.

"I want to eat okonomiyaki too."
That one sentence held all of my emotions.

If only I had encountered note back then

If I had known about note back then.
If I had realized this "town" existed.

I might not have had to spend every day
just enduring such intense loneliness and envy.

note even has back alleys.
There are people who take seemingly trivial topics
very seriously,
and their presence made me smile a little,
and I felt somewhat saved.

In this town, "various ways of spending time" are permitted.

Some people exchange opinions in loud voices,
while others gently write about their modest daily lives.
Sometimes, there are even people who just
keep repeating stories about nothing at all.

Even so, in this town, everyone is recognized
as a "member of the town" in their own way.

"Is it okay to write something like this?"
"Will someone laugh at me?"
To such hesitations,
note gently says, "It's okay."

Surely,
if I had known about this town back then,
I wouldn't have cried over okonomiyaki.

If I had written those feelings on note,
someone might have nodded and said, "I understand."

Just with that,
that lonely night might have been a little easier to bear.

When I think about that, the fact that this town exists
feels, now more than ever,
like something to be very grateful for.

Let's hang out together in the town of note

In a [town] I didn't even know existed five months ago,
I am happily wandering around every day.

With people I never would have met otherwise,
we laugh together, comfort each other, and inspire one another.

I think that is something truly wonderful and precious.

What I, who finally arrived in the town called note,
am thinking right now.

The days when I couldn't raise my voice,
and the feelings I thought would never reach anyone,
are properly received by someone here.

So it's okay.

Don't think that you are alone in this world.

Because in this town, someone
is waiting for you.