Why I decided to try writing on note: 'I'm afraid of people knowing my true feelings'

Have you ever felt afraid that someone might find out what you're really thinking?

I have. A lot. In fact, I'm feeling nervous even as I write this now.

What I'm writing about today is how I came to the decision to start posting on note.To begin with, I'm not good at conveying my thoughts to others. I always end up saying too much and usually regret it later.

For example, feelings of hurt and negativity. Ambitions for the future that I can't quite put into words. Or even those messy, complicated feelings I'd rather not acknowledge myself.

Honestly, I didn't even really like X.I was worried I'd end up saying too much while tweeting. I only signed up because it seemed like a lot of writers were using X, so I felt I had no choice.

My image of sharing things online is something like this.

Screaming all by myself toward a world where no one is there.

The reason I decided to try posting on X was because of an offline meetup in November 2024 for the community I belong to,Web Writer Lab.

Seeing people I thought were just on the other side of my computer screen laughing and talking right in front of me made me think,they're so cool.

That was when I started trying to post on X. Even though it's only 140 characters, the number of people I'm friendly with has increased. Sometimes when I comment, people saythank youto me.

Maybe people won't laugh at me or make fun of me even if I share what I'm thinking.Just as I was feeling that hope, I attended this event↓↓↓

A conversation between Yuki Ishikawa and Masahiro Nakamura at a writer networking event hosted by Marble Community

As the two of them talked about writers in the AI era, this topic came up.

note is a place to share your daily thoughts

The phrase 'note as a place to write down what I'm thinking' really left an impression on me. As I stared at 'myself thinking' the whole time on the train ride home from the event, I realized that I actually think about quite a lot of things and felt happy. (Though, having written that, I've completely forgotten what I was thinking about at the time now, haha.)

Anyway, if I write something down like this before I forget, even if it's just one thing a day—no, even one thing every three days—I might want to praise my past self when I look back on it later. I hope I can write with that kind of feeling.