It Was the Way Those Closest to Me Supported Me That Turned My Struggles into a 'Talent'

【A Place to Keep a Supportive Perspective | 01】
How to Support Someone to Turn Their Struggles into a 'Talent'

What turns struggles into a 'talent' is
the way those closest to you 'support' you.

In life,
words spoken with good intentions
can sometimes cause someone pain without us even realizing it.

I myself,
thinking of my family,
truly believed I was doing my best.

But then, one day,
I stopped and thought about it.

Was that really
what it means to support someone?

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The Me Who Used the Word 'Normal'

I used to
unconsciously use the word 'normal'
toward my family.

'Normal people do it this way, right?'
'Normally, you wouldn't think like that.'

I didn't mean to blame them.

I just
'wanted to make life easier for my child'
that was all I was thinking.

But one day,
my child looked at me straight in the eyes
and asked me this.

'Hey Mom, what is normal?'

In that moment,
my heart tightened.

The 'normal' I was trying to protect
was just society's average,
not the right answer for the child right in front of me.

Perhaps,
for someone struggling to live,
my words
weren't support,
but a heavy yardstick.

The sense of discomfort or
struggle you have felt
is not a mistake, nor is it a flaw.

It is surely
proof that your sensitivity
has been properly
perceiving the world.

That is what I realized.

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Watching over you was the scariest thing of all

The days that followed were,
honestly, a series of conflicts.

To be honest, I was scared.
I was scared to see you get hurt.

That's why,
I wanted to step in and protect you,
and I wanted to make sure you didn't fall.

But—
I gradually began to realize that choosing to watch over you
was not about letting go,
but about believing in you.

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Standing by someone isn't about providing the right answer

At one point, I finally realized it.

Standing by someone
isn't about teaching them the right answer.

When they can't do something, gently reach out a hand.
When they can, support them with all your might.

I now believe that this sense of distance
is what it truly means
to stand by someone.

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A family doesn't have to be a place where you 'correct' each other

The outside world
is still harsh, unreasonable,
and overflowing with heartless words.

Even my husband, who works for our family
while dealing with physical pain,
sometimes hits walls
where he isn't understood outside.

'You did your best'
'I love that sensitivity of yours'

How much it saves a person to have a place where they can say that to each other.

Family doesn't have to be about correcting each other,
it can be about cherishing each other.

That is what I believe.

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An event that reminded me of this perspective

What made me pause and consider this 'perspective of support'
was a certain social media video
that An-san introduced in a note post.

Instead of 'correcting' the other person's actions,
'imagining the feelings behind them'

That perspective
gave me time to reflect on my past self
and my present self.

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An-san is someone who values the theme of 'working' and shares the words and attitudes of people who work with pride.
It is a wonderful article I want to introduce, so please read it.
I am sure the faces of your own loved ones will come to mind.

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My child is now
in a place where they feel comfortable,
walking toward the world one step at a time.

For things they cannot do,
they are supported.
For things they can do,
they keep putting in the effort.

I believe that struggles
are something that are on the way to becoming a talent.

In this place,
I want to gently leave behind
my past self,
my present self,
and my feelings of support
for my child as they walk forward from here.

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Finally

To you, who are currently struggling and searching for your own place to belong.

And to the mothers, families,
and colleagues at work
who are watching over them by their side.

A child's perspective,
a mother's viewpoint,
a colleague's stance in the workplace,
and the perspective of an individual living in society.

Not just one single correct answer,
but cherishing the scenery
seen from each of these places.

I would like to continue
putting these supportive perspectives into words.

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