I care about revenue and follower counts, but I don't want to be too caught up in them. I am an "essayist."

Hello everyone.100-Day Journaling Challenge It has been 3 days since I started, so I did a review.

I have a "real" world and an "online" world

First, on Day 1 of journaling, I thought about my "ideal self."
As a result, my ideal self was as follows.

• Capable at work

• Able to speak English

• In good shape

• Healthy in both mind and body

And when I dug deeper into these, it seemed that I have two worlds, "real" and "online," and my ideal self exists in the "real world."

Right now, I am focusing on the online world. Because it's fun

On Day 2, I thought about what I currently consider to be challenges.

This is because I wanted to know how much distance there is between the "challenges to becoming my ideal self" that I identified on Day 1 and my "current challenges."
What I currently consider to be challenges were as follows.

• My policy for note

• English study (and my Instagram study account)

• My activities as a career consultant

There are activities I want to start on note in the future, and how to go about them.
Combining my Instagram study account with my English studies.
How to go about recruiting monitors as a career consultant.
It seems that these things are currently occupying my mind.

However, these (with the exception of English) are Day 1 tasks, and they do not lead to my ideal self.

If achieving the tasks I am currently thinking about won't lead to my "ideal self," that effort might end up being a waste of time.

Why does this happen? There are several reasons, but the biggest one is that I am in an
environment where I cannot work (due to visa issues). That is why I thought, I have no choice but to grow my career in the online world.

But is that really true? Isn't that just an assumption?

If my ideal self exists in my real life, then I must enrich my real-life self no matter what. But I end up immersing myself in the online world where there is no overlap in the Venn diagram.
Because it's fun. I'm running away.

Bringing the real and online worlds closer together

On Day 3, I thought about "So, what should I do?"

My online activities are things I love. Writing. Reading. Learning. Everything is something I love.

If I were to deny this outright, I feel like I would no longer be "me."

In that case, there are two methods.

1. Reduce time online and increase time in the real world

2. Think of a path where online is approximately equal to real life

I have experience with both, but even if I do 1, if the things I love are online, I inevitably end up coming back.

In that case, I felt that option 2, doing activities online that bring me closer to my ideal real-life self, would be the most comfortable path for me.

note. I care about follower counts and revenue too.

In the first place, the reason I started note is because I love to write.

However, as I continued, I started to see many amazing people.

• They have so many followers

• They've become famous and connected it to business

• They are earning revenue from what they write

W-wow... A feeling of genuine admiration and a feeling of envy began to coexist.

I don't want to lose sight of myself like this (I've been there before), so I decided to look at the cause of why I feel "envious" and how I want to be.

The categorization of note is generally this

The genre of "writing" can be broadly classified as follows.

1. Essays/Diaries

2. Information provision/Sharing

When the following desires are attached to this, people become a "noter".

1. Want to reach their main business from note / want people to buy their products

2. Want to earn revenue from note itself

3. Want to be read

4. Toconnect with someone

I believe these desires are healthy for "writing" because without them, it would be a case of "just write that on the back of a flyer!"

No matter how pure, innocent, or flawless a person may be, as long as they continue to use note, they must be connected to some of these desires.
And that is not dirty. It is normal for a human being.

In fact, if you don't first acknowledge that these "desires" exist, it will only become increasingly painful.
So, be bold and just admit it.

My desire to "write" is

I had vaguely thought, "Someday, I want to sell what I write," so in this context, I have the desires of "2. I want to earn revenue from note itself" and "3. I want people to read my work."

So, how should I satisfy those desires?
What should I do to achieve that?

Let's recall the genres of "writing" once more.

1. Essays/Diaries

2. Information Provision/Sharing

To earn revenue, it seems the shortest path is to share the primary information you possess with others.

Should I do that too? Should I share the stories I have lived and experienced?

If I am to do that, I must ask. Who am I?

Who am I?

I have (or had) several titles.

• Corporate employee at a major company

• Manager

• Working mom with reduced hours

• Career consultant

• Expat spouse

• Book lover

• Culture and art enthusiast

• Casual early education enthusiast

So, who am I?
What kind of information should I write about?

Yes, my self-identity as a "writer" isan "essayist."

Things like how I managed to become a manager while working reduced hours, how to get a job at a major corporation, or what it's like to work fully remotely—using those as my brand doesn't feel quite right.

I am an essayist.
I am someone who has ideals in the real world.

If that's the case, isn't there no need to be overly swayed by strong metrics like "revenue" or "follower counts" that I can't control on my own?

Wait, was "writing" even about that in the first place? Was it supposed to be evaluated by others?
When we first "wrote" something, what we felt should have been joy.
Yes,"Writing" is "joy."

So, in the end, what will I do?

A series of journeys around note that began with "connecting the online world to reality."

In the end, I couldn't perfectly answer the question of "how to make online equal to reality" in just three days.

But I want to be an "essayist."
I want to enrich my real life.
I love writing. I love digging deep into things that interest me.
On top of that, I want to engage in activities where online equals reality.

I have succeeded in extracting these essences.

Well, the 100-day challenge has only just begun.
I want to continue journaling to gradually clarify how my thinking will change from here on out.