I thought about why my anxiety never went away no matter how hard I worked on my side hustle [Side Hustle Experience]

Hello, this is Makari.

The children's summer vacation has begun, and the two hours of alone time I usually have are now almost non-existent.

The heat has also caused my concentration to drop, and my side hustle isn't progressing as I'd like.

As days like that continued, I increasingly felt like I was failing at everything, thinking, "I feel like I haven't made any progress lately," and "I don't feel like I'm cherishing my time with the kids either."

I started a side hustle about two years ago because I felt anxious about just working at a company.

Although my income and work have gradually increased, my anxiety never went away.

I kept thinking, "I don't know when my blog revenue might disappear," "Writer jobs might disappear due to the evolution of AI," and "Maybe I need another pillar of income."

Every time I achieved a goal like monetization, I found myself looking for the next source of anxiety.

And I realized that no matter how much I end up earning in the future, this anxiety might never go away.

Meanwhile, as I faced myself, what became clear was what I truly wanted.

I think it wasn't just about increasing my income, but about feeling that "I have the power to live."

A way of working that doesn't rely solely on a company. Knowledge and experience that I can build up from scratch even if my environment changes.

I think I wanted to become a person who can think about what I can do in any situation and keep moving forward.

That is why I have felt at ease by thinking, "I made a little progress today," until now.

I wrote a blog post. I finished one writing job. I tried out a new AI.

Every time I built something up, I was able to think, "I'm okay today."

But now, I'm used to the work, and I have fewer opportunities to feel that I can do more things.

I think I was feeling anxious because I wasn't making progress, as days went by without feeling any results or growth.

But when I think about it again, moving forward isn't just about being able to do something new.

Thinking about the balance between my side hustle and time with my children. Being able to rest when I'm tired. Stopping for a moment to think about the future.

I have come to believe that this, too, is a sign that I have moved forward.

From now on, instead of forcing myself to keep working hard,
I also want to value continuing without overexerting myself.

Even on days when it feels like nothing is progressing,
if I was able to take care of myself and my family,
I believe that is also a step taken for the future.