Princess Karin ③ Sweets Land Arc Part 1

Princess Karin and White Liquor-chan are flying over Sweets Land in King Wine's private jet.

Below them, they can see the kinako desert, known as the Dessert Desert.
Sometimes they can see camels, but apparently, they are animal biscuit camels.
Their silhouettes are camels, but they are paper-thin when viewed from a different angle.

"The world is mostly paper-thin if you change your viewing angle, you know."

White Liquor-chan says things like that, but Princess Karin doesn't understand what she means.

"I wonder if the world is like those camels?"

The camel right in front of them has a slightly missing hump.

The moon of 'Tokyo Banana' floating in the sky, and
countless konpeito candies.

Princess Karin is enchanted by the mysterious scenery, but White Liquor-chan seems fed up with it.

"It's giving me heartburn..."

She doesn't seem to like Sweets Land very much.
Apparently, it was standard for Ms. Rock Sugar to show her face in the Alcohol Kingdom several times a year.

In the distance, the Mont Blanc is covered in powdered sugar that looks just like powdery snow.
The capital of Sweets Land, Marron Glacé, is located almost at the summit of the Mont Blanc, and that is where Almond Cho International Airport, where this jet will land, is located.

Sweets Land, also known as the Sweets Federation.
Most of the land is cake.
The specialties are sweet things like chocolate and clocks.
The clocks are elaborate and precise.
They are so elaborate and precise that they show 3 o'clock four times a day.
Also, the Sweets Bank is famous.
When you deposit sweets, you get a corresponding amount of fat as interest.
Actors who gain 30 kilograms for a movie are regular customers of the Sweets Bank.

When they land at the airport, the cool air wraps around their skin.

"It feels so good."

However, White Liquor-chan doesn't seem to like this cold climate, the thin oxygen, or the fact that everything is sweet everywhere.
She reluctantly got off the jet.

It's time to say goodbye to the pilot, who isn't beer but is a beer-like alcoholic beverage.

"Thank you very much."
"You don't need to thank me.
I'm not beer anyway."

He says something sulky.
Princess Karin tried to be considerate, wanting him to have confidence in himself.

"What are you saying?
You look just like beer except for the taste, so you're a magnificent beer imposter."

The alcoholic beverage that isn't beer but is beer-like was overcome with emotion and started to cry.

“How awful... I’ve never been told such a terrible thing before!!!!!

She was sobbing.
Princess Karin thought she had messed up.
But it was too late.
She decided to just forget about it.

King Wine’s private jet took off aggressively.
I hope they don’t get into an accident...

Only Princess Karin and White Liquor-chan were left at the airport.
They were welcomed in Alcohol Kingdom, so why was it like this here?
Actually, this Sweets Land is very punctual, so they have to take a snack break at 3:00 PM.
They had arrived at exactly 3:00 PM.
After standing there for 15 minutes,
someone finally arrived.

The first to arrive was White Liquor-chan’s boyfriend, Mr. Rock Candy.

“Long time no see!!!!!
What on earth are you doing coming to Sweets Land?”

Mr. Rock Candy suddenly tried to hug her, but White Liquor-chan skillfully dodged him with a sway-back and an iron-clad block.
Then, she landed a right straight to his counter.
Hardly anyone ever gets to receive White Liquor-chan’s straight punch.
White Liquor-chan rarely throws them, either.
That’s how powerful it is.
Mr. Rock Candy was knocked out cold.

“Oh no, I hope this doesn’t lead to them breaking up...”

Princess Karin worried, but the revived Mr. Rock Candy looked somewhat happy.

“Just because you’re my boyfriend, don’t go acting like one.”
“I love how unreasonable you are.”

Mr. Rock Candy seems to like being treated coldly.
He was melting away for White Liquor-chan right before her eyes.

Before long, a lively parade group arrived.
Leading the way were angels blowing trumpets.
One golden angel and
five silver angels.
They say it’s a very auspicious sign.

Following them was a Koala marching band.
Everyone had eyebrows.
They say it’s a very auspicious sign.

After that, red and white manju buns came along singing.
They were singing while split into a red team and a white team.
I don’t even know if that’s auspicious anymore.

Behind them, dried sweets passed by on an oxcart pulled by an animal cracker cow.

“Do as you please.”

She didn’t know what she was supposed to do.

And then, the President appeared in a freezer truck converted from a limousine.
Princess Karin knew the name, too.
If I recall,
it was “President Haagen.”
That’s his nickname.
I think his real name was
“Haagen-something.”
He is the first ice cream President of Sweets Land.
Even though Sweets Land is at a high altitude, he is so delicate that he has to ride in a freezer truck.
Princess Karin tried to check his name so she wouldn’t be rude.
His name was written flamboyantly on the freezer truck.
However, a sign was in the way, and she couldn’t confirm the name.

“Haagen”

followed by

"Sale Excluded Item"

was written on the tag, and after that,

"President"

was written.

The small window of the freezer truck opened, and the President poked his head out.

"I am Haagen... (muttered, couldn't hear) Sale Excluded Item!!!!! President."

It seems the most important part is the "Sale Excluded Item" part. When I asked later, it seems it's as honorable as a medal for ice cream.

"This is my wife, the First Lady, Borden."

She gave a polite nod with a smile, so I bowed back.

"We, the citizens of Sweets Land, welcome you, Princess."

A fanfare sounded all at once, a celebratory cracker opened, and a banner hung down from inside. The words written on it were,

"Celebrate, Princess Karinto"

Princess Karin's stomach started hurting again.

"This isn't me. I am Princess Karin..."

President Haagen lost all the color in his face.

"Huh? What could be the matter? Uh... ten? Ten? Ah, that's right! This is a banner celebrating Princess Karin turning ten years old."

President Haagen thought he had covered it up well.

"I turned ten six years ago. I'm sixteen!!!!!"

"Eh?"

White Liquor-chan let out a voice of surprise. In her heart,

"What is this? You're just a minor.
Minors shouldn't be coming to the Alcohol Kingdom.
There's no way you could enjoy it.
Dummy, dummy, dummy."

That's what I thought, but I didn't say it out loud.
That's because White Liquor-chan's business partners were almost all from the Fruit Kingdom.
White Liquor-chan was a complete adult, after all.

"You, this is Sweets Land, so you should honestly say that you just mistook it for the name of a sweet."

At Mrs. Borden's words, President Hagen apologized to Princess Karin.
Princess Karin also accepted the apology.
That's because she might end up living in Sweets Land.
Princess Karin was also starting to become an adult.

They took her sightseeing.
In a pumpkin pie carriage provided by Sweets Land.
Princess Karin liked the sweet smell and the ride, but White Liquor-chan...

"What? What is this cloying smell?
The seat cushions are dry and crumbly too.
I really can't believe it."

She was nothing but complaints.
Rock Sugar-san was extremely apologetic.
He felt it was overwhelming to be treated as a state guest,
and to be seated with a princess from the Fruit Kingdom.

"For someone like me who hasn't achieved much to be treated like this..."

Rock Sugar-san is the son of a prestigious family in Sweets Land, the "Sugar Family."
So, I think he deserves this level of treatment, but he says he can't bring himself to accept it.

His father is White Sugar,
his mother is Granulated Sugar

He is a thoroughbred.
Because of that,
"the pressure of being a second generation"
is likely what is troubling him.

On top of that, his older brother, Cube Sugar-san,
is flying around the world as the Foreign Minister of Sweets Land to strengthen diplomatic relations with the Coffee Republic and the Tea Kingdom.
His younger brothers, the Konpeito-san brothers, are stars shining in the night sky.
Yet, opportunities for Rock Sugar-san to shine rarely come along.
His unit activities with White Liquor-chan are the only activities that reach the public.
So, he has become incredibly self-deprecating.
He seems to be thinking about what he would do if White Liquor-chan abandoned him.
Princess Karin felt pity watching him.
The combination of Rock Sugar-san and White Liquor-chan is such a perfect couple, so why does he worry so much?

The carriage stopped.
First, they visited the two lakes created by the eruption of Mont Blanc,
"Tsubuan Lake" and "Koshian Lake."
They were lakes where you couldn't see the bottom at all.
There is a legend about these two lakes,
and it is said that the "Monster Mochi"
lives there.
Which lake does it come out of?
Does the name change slightly depending on whether the raw material is glutinous rice or shiratamako flour?
Such mysterious creatures are usually

"UMA"

called, but in Sweets Land, they are

"UMASO"

called.

Princess Karin didn't know if she should be scared or drool if a monster appeared.

They passed through "Kinoko no Yama," "Takenoko no Sato," and "Konjac Field,"
and arrived at the "Guri Plateau."
It was a small plateau, 300 meters square.

They also saw historical sites of Sweets Land.
The monument to the "Baumkuchen Incident," the first coup d'état in Sweets Land,
the birthplace of "Hikaru Genji Pie," the biggest playboy in Sweets Land,
the ship that "Marco Chichiboro" rode on,
the "Takarabune" that ran aground,
and so on.

Princess Karin is not well-versed in world history, so she didn't find it very enjoyable, but the next place she visited, a variety theater, was a lot of fun.

She was comforted by various sweets-themed comedians, starting with the chocolate snack 'Master Koeda',
'Honey,' whose father is a big-name comedian,
Chocolate Planet,
and others.
In the Fruit Kingdom, the only flashy comedians are
'Ringo Momoko'
and
'Bananaman'.

She also went on a standard tour of a chocolate factory.
There was someone who looked like Johnny Depp and some little people inside, and she went through all sorts of trouble, like her body turning into a balloon, but since it would take about 115 minutes to make into a movie, I will omit those details.

She was exhausted after all that sightseeing.
Even more so, she had an upset stomach.
And that's saying something, even for Princess Karin, who loves sweets.
White Liquor-chan is already drifting in and out of consciousness.

To be continued in the second part below.

Illustration by Tomoko Abo