The Recommendation for Couple Meetings

I wrote an article like this before.

It was about how I was feeling frustrated during Golden Week because I couldn't secure any time for myself, as I was with my husband and family the whole time.

I was happy to receive comments and messages saying, "I empathize with you!" and "I'm the same!"

Since then, we have talked again about the comfortable distance between us as a couple and how we should spend our holidays from now on.

We sometimes go out to eat and have a "couple meeting" while having a drink.

Talking about our future, our way of life, and our comfortable relationship...we discuss all sorts of things, back and forth.It's a very important time.

Looking back, when we lived in Hokkaido, we lived in a completely car-dependent society.
It was the exact opposite lifestyle from our current life in Tokyo, where we can get anywhere by train.Usually, on summer weekends, we would drive far away to go camping for a night or two, or go snowboarding in the winter.
Since we only had one car, it was natural for us to spend our weekends together as a couple.

Perhaps that's why, even after moving to Tokyo for work, we both had this underlying assumption that

"weekends are for spending time together as a couple."

we both had this underlying assumption that it might have been the case.

I felt somewhat hesitant to make other plans on the weekend, or felt guilty toward my husband.And it seems my husband felt the same way.

There is something I realized after moving from a life in the great outdoors of the countryside to a convenient city life.
That is, my husband and I have completely different interests. (Haha)

My husband loves clothes, accessories, shoes, interior design...he loves fashion and shopping.
Unlike in Hokkaido, in Tokyo, everything he wants is available in stores.
If he thinks he wants something, he can go see the real thing and buy it right away.So, it seems he never gets tired of hopping from department store to department store every week for window shopping.He loves Shinjuku Isetan.

On the other hand, I don't have much desire for material things, so I'm the type who is fine with just the bare minimum of clothes and everything else.
Since I love learning more than anything, if I'm going to be at a store, I'd rather spend the day at a large bookstore or library than a department store.In Shinjuku, I love Kinokuniya Bookstore.

When we lived in the countryside, there weren't many shops, so we really only had the option of enjoying the great outdoors together.
But with the increased options in the city, our interests as a couple became more specialized, and our paths diverged.

But this isn't a sad thing at all.
It just means we should change the way we are as a couple to match our changed lifestyle.

In our Tokyo life, we will secure time for ourselves to do things that fulfill our hearts, while also securing time to spend happily together as a couple.

We agreed that we should value both in a balanced way.

Now, my husband doesn't hesitate to go out drinking with colleagues, stay at a sauna, or go shopping alone on the weekend.

He even says he's going on a solo trip to Kyoto this year. Because of that, I was also able to decide without hesitation to immerse myself in my writing, create time for self-maintenance, and go on business trips to Hokkaido.

With this, we won't build up frustration with each other, and we'll both feel fulfilled and happy!

We tend to think that because we're a married couple, we should be able to say anything to each other or that we understand one another, but...I think there are actually many things we assume based on how things used to be, or things we keep to ourselves out of consideration for the other person.

Even for us, having been together for over 20 years now, that is still the case.

It is natural for everything to change as time passes.
I think it's only natural that the comfortable way for a couple to be changes as their life stages and lifestyles change.

That is why I want to continue making time for regular couple meetings.

In order to always cherish both myself and my partner, and to live happily...