The story of how the monk who came to my grandfather's funeral was a fake

The other day, I had the opportunity to have a meal with my two uncles (my mother's older and younger brothers).

Both of them are over 60, so the conversation naturally turned to 'grave closing.' That led to talk about my grandfather, who passed away about 20 years ago.

My older uncle remarked, 'Man, things were tough when Dad passed. When we found out the monk was a fake I was really shocked.'

Wait, what? A fake? I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about.

As I was reeling in shock, my two uncles looked surprised and asked, 'Oh? You didn't know?'

To summarize what they told me:

• The monk who came to my grandfather's funeral was a fake monk • When we called the temple to arrange the funeral, the administrative clerk who answered the phone
dressed up as a monk, chanted a sutra, and left. • A year after the funeral, when we contacted the temple to arrange the first anniversary memorial service, they panicked and apologized, saying,
'That was our office clerk'

I couldn't believe it. What surprised me most was that the posthumous Buddhist name was also just something the fake monk made up on the spot.

I was my grandfather's first grandchild, and he doted on me quite a bit. He was a man who would always reply 'Good night' in English when I said 'Oyasuminasai' before leaving his house, yet he called tissues 'chirigami'—I could never tell if he was modern or old-fashioned.

My grandfather passed away when I was a university student. He had been in and out of the hospital, so I had a sense that the end was near. On the day he died, my younger brother and I kept watch all night to make sure the candle flame didn't go out. It was the only thing a helpless grandson like me could do in return for him.

To think that the person chanting the long sutras at his funeral the next day was a fake monk.

Time passed, and it was 2023. I returned to my parents' home during the New Year holidays. 90% of my purpose was to hear the details of the fake monk incident.

First, I went to my grandmother's house. I couldn't stop thinking about that posthumous name. They say the longer the name, the more expensive it is.

I pressed my hands together in front of my grandfather's altar, told him about the past year in my heart, and asked him to keep watching over us for another year, then snapped a photo of the posthumous name engraved on the memorial tablet with my smartphone.

Grandpa, forgive me. Actually, did you know this was made up by a fake monk? Are you being teased about it in heaven (though there's a non-zero chance it's hell)?

My grandfather's name had more characters than usual, so it seems it was quite expensive.

The fake monk must have trembled with excitement when he was creating the name, thinking, 'Oh...! So many characters...!' He had hit the jackpot. It must have been a 'zawa-zawa' moment that would put Kaiji to shame.

I slowly asked my grandmother and parents about it.

The administrative clerk who answered the phone when we called for the funeral arrangements dressed up as a monk, chanted the sutras, and gave him a posthumous name. Of course, no one noticed and it went right through.

After that, the fake monk would contact us individually and come to chant sutras regularly. I wonder what he was thinking while he chanted. He must have visited my grandmother's house every time with the same gambling tension as Kaiji.

Sutras are sometimes compared to 'songs.' I suppose what we were listening to wasn't a professional artist's live performance, but rather an amateur talent show. Paying a high price every time to listen to an amateur talent show—if that isn't hell, what is?

When we contacted the temple again at the time of the first anniversary, they had no idea what we were talking about, and it was discovered that an office worker from the temple had been posing as a monk. The fake monk had already left the temple, and the temple staff apologized profusely. As they should.

Of course, the family was in an uproar, but my grandmother said, 'It's already been a year, and the memorial service was performed properly, so there's no need to stir up trouble,' and apparently, they didn't report it to the police.

After finishing the whole story, my mother said, 'A proper monk has been coming since the first anniversary.' Well, I should hope so.

I asked my grandmother about it too, but she just narrowed her eyes and said, 'That happened, didn't it?' Having lived over 90 years, it seems she has washed the past away cleanly with water.
ed.

The truth about my grandfather's funeral, which I learned for the first time more than 20 years after the event.

Is the monk you hired really a monk...?

By the way, a posthumous Buddhist name (kaimyo) is said to be 'proof of becoming a disciple of Buddha' and an 'admission ticket to the world of Buddha.' My grandfather, who was laid to rest with a name given by a fake monk, might not have entered the world of Buddha yet.

I don't know when it will be, but when I go to the afterlife, I intend to explain my grandfather's situation and have him admitted to the world of Buddha with me.

<Kaimyo Verification Chapter>

In the few days since I posted this article, it has been viewed by quite a lot of people. Thank you very much.

When I posted the article on Facebook, a boss of mine commented,'Did you verify the quality of the posthumous name?'.

It is certainly something I'm curious about.

However, since my grandmother's intention at the time of discovery was 'not to stir up trouble,' I was a bit hesitant, thinking that verifying it might lead to her saying, 'We went to the trouble of letting it go, so why are you dredging it up from the gutter?'

I was wondering who I should even ask to verify it in the first place, when I looked at Facebook and suddenly realized something.

A classmate from my junior high and high school days had become a monk, and we were connected on Facebook.

That said, we barely interacted during those school days, and since I rarely open Facebook, we hadn't communicated at all since graduating high school.

Would someone like that even entertain such a ridiculous story? I might be berated, 'How imprudent! Go away!' Even if I wasn't berated, it would be natural for them to ignore me... thinking this, I sent a message: 'I read your article, and if possible, could you take a look at the posthumous name?'

Then, a reply came.

'I know I shouldn't laugh, but I read it with great interest.'

"I'll answer what I can regarding the posthumous Buddhist name as well."

How grateful! As grateful as the Buddha himself (it's complicated)! I was so excited by this unexpected response. He mentioned that posthumous names vary by sect and he wasn't sure if he could verify it strictly, but he also told me that things called 'posthumous name generators' actually exist. (If you're curious, please try searching for them.)

I took him up on his offer completely and sent him a photo of the posthumous name I had taken when I went back home.

Then...

"The posthumous name is perfectly fine. It's a splendid name that I can't imagine was given by a fake monk."

"The characters used also correctly embody Buddhist meanings."

That's what he said. I was worried it might be something like 'I Love You' written in kanji, so I was very relieved.

In addition, he said, "Even if he was a fake, I think he was someone with a certain amount of knowledge." This is something I would never have known on my own. I have nothing but gratitude for him verifying it for me.

I thought to myself that Grandpa had gone to the afterlife with a proper posthumous name... but that thought didn't last long.

Could it be that in the afterlife, he's like 'the guy who got stuck with an incredibly elaborate fake'?

It's the kind of thing that often makes the news regarding brand-name goods.

He might get stopped at the gate to the Buddhist world, and Grandpa might be confused, saying, "Wait, is this a fake?"

If that's the case, when I go to the afterlife, I'll explain the situation carefully, saying, "I had it properly verified!"

(I have received permission from my classmate who is a monk to write about this in an article.)