7 Mental Self-Care Methods Every New Mom Should Know | How to Start Parenting Without Blaming Yourself
Not stopping crying at night, baby food not going well, the daily tantrums feeling like a trial. At times like these, the thing that gets worn down the most is a mom's heart.
The conclusion first. The trick for new moms to feel more at ease is to have 7 small techniques to rebuild their mental state. 1. Reclaim yourself for just 5 minutes 2. Lower your brain's heat with deep breathing 3. Organize your emotions by putting them on paper 4. Say kind words to yourself 5. Move your mood with a little exercise 6. Say 'Oh well' 7. Talk to someone and halve your burden
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7 Mental Self-Care Methods You Can Start Today
1. The 5-minute rule for 'me time'. It's normal not to be able to take a long break. So, 5 minutes is fine. Check that your child is in a safe place, and even the bathroom or washroom is okay. Set a timer for 5 minutes and have even just one sip of a warm drink. During my newborn period, on days when I was at my limit from lack of sleep, I would play my favorite music for just 5 minutes in the bathroom. Even though it was short, it felt like my feelings were unraveling.
2. Return to the 'here and now' with deep breathing. When you're frustrated, your breathing tends to become shallow. I recommend breathing in for 4 seconds, holding for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds, 3 times. If that's difficult, just making your exhale longer is enough.
3. Visualizing emotions. When you feel like you can't take it anymore, the causes are all jumbled up. Just writing these on paper will help you organize them: What is painful right now, the reason why it's painful, and one thing you were able to do today. When you finish writing, circle what you were able to do. This is practice to stop collecting material to blame yourself with.
4. Self-compassion. Say the words you would say to a best friend to yourself, too. 'Good job today,' 'You're doing enough,' 'You can try again tomorrow.' Words may seem like mere comfort, but they slowly increase your mental resilience.
5. Move your body to move your mood. Serious exercise is unnecessary. 5-minute stretching, a stroller walk, or radio calisthenics with your child. When your body moves a little, your feelings are pulled along and move too.
6. Make 'Oh well' your motto. A common mistake is trying to do everything properly and burning out. 'Can't clean? Oh well.' 'Relied on pre-made food? Oh well.' 'Bedtime took a long time? Oh well.' Days where you managed to get by with the bare minimum are actually a win.
7. Just talking makes it lighter. It doesn't have to be face-to-face; phone calls or messages are fine too. The point is sharing, not solving. The moment you put it into words, the burden on your heart is released a little.
Small tips for moms raising siblings
When they both cry at the same time, your mind can easily go blank. At times like that, fix the order: First, 10 seconds of deep breathing. Next, ensure safety—just check that there are no dangerous objects nearby. Finally, do only what you can do right now. It helps to have a waiting space for the older child and a set of picture books or toys you can hand them immediately.
Don't carry it alone at times like this
If you haven't been able to enjoy things for over two weeks, can't sleep or sleep too much, your appetite has dropped drastically, you feel depressed all the time, or thoughts of wanting to hurt your child or yourself come up. When these states continue, don't force yourself to get through it with self-care; please rely on medical institutions or local consultation services. It is not you being weak.
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Summary
Mental self-care is not something special, but a accumulation of small recoveries. It's okay not to try to do everything. Just one thing at a time is enough, like just deep breathing today, or just the 5-minute rule tomorrow. When a mom feels a little more at ease, the scenery of parenting will surely change.
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