The Achievement of 'Bending Like a Willow'

To you who feel your only achievement
is 'no awards or penalties' to list on your profile

Are you good at self-introductions?

If you have never had any trouble with self-introductions,
I am sorry, but
you probably have no use for this page ^^;)

If you are someone who says, 'I'm bad at self-introductions,'
please continue reading.

To be able to introduce yourself,

'Hey, listen! This is me!'
don't you feel like you need to have something
that makes you want to say that?

If you feel that way, you might be
painfully honestor perhaps you have
low self-esteem.

I feel the same way (lol)

For example, even if I think about hobbies,
I hesitate to say 'I like movies' because
there are times when I don't watch any
for over half a yearso,
I hesitate.

And even if I change the angle to
'how I spend my days off',

I pretty much just stay holed up at home,
so
nothing comes to mind regarding 'how I spend them'.

Every time I am forced to introduce myself
and think about what to say,
I feel a bit discouraged right there.

Thinking, 'I'm such a boring person.'

Let's say I try to think about my work
to see if there is anything else.

I have been involved in retail for over 20 years
and have also worked as a store manager.

Oh, can I use that? I think,
feeling like I've found a lead, but

looking back on these years,
'there were only many painful things'

is a line from a poem that immediately comes to mind.

Or rather,
that is all I can think of.

Even if I ponder my passion for work
or my thoughts on it,

'a means to earn a living'

is the biggest awareness.
Over 90 percent of it is this.

And,
'Anyway,
I diligently went to work every day,'
...that's about it.

Also, even if I try to bring up
my own character

I have almost no one I can call a friend,
I am not the type to be called a good person,and
I don't think I've ever been called that either.

I don't really understand
what makes life enjoyable, and

For someone like me, I
wonder why I'm even aliveor

if there's any meaning to my existence,

I find myself thinking about that countless times...

A life with the resume entry: 'No awards or criminal record. That is all.'

I don't have this,
I don't have that,
'I have nothing at all.'

When your thoughts only lead to
negative things,

it's also an option to consider 'having nothing'
as a strength.

A virtue of 'having nothing,' or rather,

positive thinking,
a shift in perspective—that's what this is, right? ♪
I mean,

in my case, 'nothing' means
no debt,
and I've never done anything bad
(well, maybe some small things ( ´艸｀))
so,

I can at least write 'No awards or criminal record'
on my resume.

'I am a person with no awards or criminal record.
Nice to meet you!'

I don't think that's bad.

But...
depending on the place or the person,
that kind of appeal
'Are you even motivated?'
is what I'd likely be told.

That's why I'm not good at it (bitter laugh).

The real me

If I can be honest,
it's like this.

『Having to go to school or work
at a set time every day
was,
for me, simply agonizing.

It wasn't exactly a comfortable home,
but even so,
whether at school or work, as soon as I arrived,

'I want to go home already'is what I thought, and
when I woke up in the morning,


'I have to go again today'was the heavy feeling that
only made getting out of bed even worse.

From the time I started elementary school,
'Am I going to live my whole life
doing nothing but obligations every day?'I would often feel so depressed
that I couldn't even sleep at night.

This is me
.'See?Even when I'm honest,


it's nothing to be proud of,
so I feel down.
I have no career that meets social expectations,
and no particular

hobbies or special skills,

half-heartedly honest,
and low self-esteem.

Thinking of myself
as a boring person,
of course my heart would break.

The strength of a willow swaying in the wind

I live a life where I often
fret and worry about this and that,
mulling things over
endlessly.
Sigh.

That said,
I've managed to live through it all somehow,and I'm almost sixty (*´艸｀)

I've come to think lately that
the reason I'm here now
is because I've been able to endureso many things.

Perhaps it's the wisdom that comes with age (lol).

Even when I've been caught in storms
or nearly buried in snow,

I've always been
like a willow, swaying its branches loosely,
and I think the reason I'm here today
is precisely because I had that kind of flexibility.
If you look closely,
twigs are broken off here and there,

and the trunk is covered in scars.

Even if I seem
carefree to others,
it's actually quite tough, even for a willow.

Giving yourself a catchphrase
and declaring it an achievement.

In life,
mental and physical flexibility
are survival essentials.

To be alive
means you possess flexibility.
Everyone has it, without exception.

If you feel like
you have nothing,
for now,
take the fact that you've made it this far

'I've lived like a willow!'

For example, it might be good
to try giving yourself
a catchphrase like that.
When you do, you gain a new perspective

on yourself that you didn't have before.

'I see,maybe I'm okay just as I am'—and you might feel a sense of relief.

I'm alive somehow
—how about trying to find

a phrase of your own
from that perspective?

I want to be someone
who can help others
find that kind of mindset.

I tried ending it like Kenji Miyazawa (lol).

I'll take my leave
with that for today...