How to Start Parenting While Being Kind to Yourself as a Mom

A "first-time" experience that is harder than you imagined

First-time parenting is
harder than you ever imagined, isn't it? 😫

If it is "just as you imagined,"
you must be in a very blessed environment.

But for many mothers,
everything is a first,
and not knowing what to do
happens one thing after another,
leaving no time for your mind or body to rest.

And yet,
those around you don't understand—😭
Sometimes you end up in a situation
that feels like you are "trapped on all sides."💦

Situations where you have no choice but to "do your best alone"

It is one thing if you have
a helping hand like a grandmother or friends,
but if your family home is far away and there is no one around
to lend a hand,😥

and on top of that, the father is busy with work,
the mother may have no choice but to struggle
all on her own.

After giving birth,
interaction with the outside world tends to decrease,
making it even harder for those around you
to sense how difficult things are.

"I want you to understand," but I can't convey it

You want them to understand, but
you don't even know where or how to start explaining.

Even when you do speak up, you end up getting emotional.

Due to factors like lack of sleep and hormonal imbalances,
even when your mind and body are at their limit,
I think there are truly many mothers who
somehow hold on, thinking "the baby comes first."

"Becoming a mother" means growing little by little

Just because you gave birth
doesn't mean you can become a "mother" right away.

That is the same as a man becoming a "father."

I believe that with a first baby,
both father and mother grow together.

It is a story from a long time ago, but
there was a "motherhood class" at the hospital where I gave birth,
and the doctor told us this.

Just as a father cannot
become a "father" right away,

I remember thinking that it is okay for a mother
not to become a "mother" right away either.

Doesn't that alone help you relax your shoulders a little?

You become a parent little by little, without rushing.
Please watch over yourself gently
in that way.

Even if you can't do things perfectly,
it is absolutely fine.🤗

Words spoken to a mother are very important.

Please,
family members around her,
with a warm gaze👀✨
please watch over the mother.

"Can't you even do this?"
"It was much harder back in my day."
"You're a mother, after all."
"What are you going to do? Are you okay?"-----

Please, do not say things like this-😂

👆Actually, I was told these things by my own mother
　　and was on the verge of a nervous breakdown at my parents' house.💦
　　When my husband came to pick me up
　　and I was able to escape, I felt truly relieved.

Even if you think you are doing it "for her own good"
and are helping out in various ways,
with just one comment like this,
a mother can be
driven into a corner in an instant.💧

It is okay to distance yourself as much as possible
from environments that force old values upon you.
You must not push yourself.😤

What is needed is a kind "word".

Because this is a time when you feel
like you are being crushed by anxiety and fatigue,
I don't want you to say things
that add insult to injury.

Even if
there are things you cannot do well--

"It's okay, it's okay"✨
"Don't worry"✨
"You can feel at ease"✨

Such
kind, comforting words💕
are so helpful.

A mother's heart
being calm and settled
leads to the greatest sense of security
for the baby as well.🌈✨

With a stance of "raising together"

I hear that
fathers can now take paternity leave as well
these days.

Of course,
there are still challenges such as workplace environments,
but it is a very positive trend.

I really want fathers to
please not just "help out" but
keep the mindset of "raising together"
in mind.

And
not just "taking care of the baby" but also
protecting and caring for the mother is something that is truly, truly important,
please remember that✨

The baby phase is just a fleeting moment

The baby phase
really goes by in a flash😆

Before you know it, they grow bigger and bigger,
their own sense of self begins to sprout🌱
and they grow from a baby into a toddler.

If you can spend that short time
with even a little peace of mind,
that is a very happy thing✨

On the train, on the bus, or at the park—
I hope the world is one where we can
warmly watch over crying babies👀🍀

Because you and I,
when we were babies ourselves,
must have cried a lot too💦

🌱Don't try too hard, it's okay to ask for help

Are you trying too hard all by yourself?

It is natural to feel confused or anxious
when raising a child for the first time.

But
asking for help is not being lazy😤

There are now various forms of support
from both the government and private sectors.

For example---

• "XX City Postpartum Support"

• "XX Ward Postpartum Help"

If you search for things like this,
you may find sitters or helpers who come to your home,
as well as government support services.

Also

• "XX City Postpartum Care Overnight Stay"

If you search for that,
you might find residential postpartum care facilities,
and recently there are even places
where you can rest comfortably in a hotel-like environment😄

If you use the internet,
you will surely find support that suits you.

Don't try to carry it all alone,
please try to ask for help✨

May all the mothers who worked so hard to give birth
be able to raise their children comfortably and with a smile💕

May such a warm world
continue to spread even further✨🙏✨

Thank you
for reading until the end😆

If today's story
made you feel a little relieved,
or if you felt glad you read it,
and you feel that way

a like or followwould make me
very happy🌈

For those who follow me,
I will follow you back
in turn😆

I look forward to your continued support🎁

Madame Tono's profile ishere🌈