3 Tips for Over-Thinkers to Master Personal Boundaries
"I think too much about how others feel and end up exhausted."
"I don't want to be disliked, so I always put myself last."
It's not easy to break the habit of being overly considerate, is it?
I still struggle with it, even with my husband.
However, with a few simple shifts in perspective,
you can definitely reduce the burden.
Today, I've compiled three tips for mastering personal boundaries
that I personally value.
—
1. Develop the habit of noticing when you are overthinking
People who are overly considerate tend to
"Maybe they think this..."
"Would they be annoyed if I said this?"
and constantly imagine future anxieties.
In reality, 90% of those imaginations are stories you've made up yourself.
The first step is to notice,
"Oh, I'm overthinking this right now."
Just by noticing,
you can hit the mental brakes and create some breathing room.
It's the first step to breaking the cycle of self-inflicted exhaustion.
—
2. Draw a line: someone else's mood is their own responsibility
The kinder and more sensitive you are,
the more likely you are to think,
"Did I do something?" or "Are they mad at me?"
when someone seems to be in a bad mood.
But you know,
someone else's mood issomething happening in their own life.
It is not your responsibility.
You don't need to carry the weight of their mood today.
"This is their issue."
Just by drawing that line in your mind,
you will feel much more at ease.
—
3. You don't have to be perfect at setting boundaries. 70% is enough.
People who are overly considerate
sometimes assume that "setting proper boundaries means being cold."
But in reality,
70% kindness is just right.
You don't have to cater to others too much,
but you don't have to push them away either.
It's okay to gradually find a distance where you can be yourself.
Mastering boundaries isn't about "effort,"
it's about getting used to it.
—
Conclusion
Being overly considerate is proof that you have a lot of kindness.
You don't need to give all that kindness to others;
it's okay to direct the same amount toward yourself.
If you adjust your boundaries little by little,
your heart will naturally feel more at ease.
You are doing enough today, too. ☺️