What is True Kindness?

- Is the feeling of thinking for someone else the same as truly caring for them?

"The Future is Created - A Story of 'Small Practices' Where Intent Moves Reality -" Vol. 108

Chapter 5 - Living as Your True Self -

When you hear the word kindness,

what comes to mind?

Going along with others.

Enduring things.

Making concessions.

Not hurting anyone.

These may all be forms of kindness.

However,

have you ever felt exhausted from trying to be kind?

Have you ever thought you were doing something for someone's sake, only for it not to be understood?

Perhaps there are some who have had such experiences.

It is possible that,

regarding kindness,

we might be slightly mistaken.

The kinder you are, the more you push yourself

Kind people,

You observe your surroundings well.

You consider the other person's feelings.

You read the room.

That is precisely why,

you sometimes prioritize others over yourself.

But,

what happens if that continues?

You gradually become exhausted.

And,

before you know it, you lose your peace of mind.

Even though it was supposed to be kindness,

it turns into endurance.

The difference between kindness and endurance

Me:
I think I'm a kind person.

Inner voice:
Oh.
So you're the type to say that yourself.

Me:
No,
that's not what I meant.

Inner voice:
Please continue.

Me:
I can't say no when I'm asked for something.

Inner voice:
Yeah.

Self:
I swallow the things I don't like, too.

Inner voice:
Uh-huh.

Self:
I don't want to trouble the other person.

Inner voice:
And then?

Self:
I've been a bit tired lately.

Inner voice:
That might not be kindness, but rather a long-term loan of endurance.

Self:
I don't feel like I'll ever finish paying it off...

True kindness includes yourself

When people talk about kindness,

it's often thought of as something for the other person.

But,

true kindness

includes yourself as well.

While taking care of yourself,

you also take care of the other person.

Only when you have both,

does it become kindness that lasts a long time.

Kindness that continues to sacrifice yourself

will eventually turn into suffering.

And,

Pain makes the heart close up little by little.

Something more important than being understood

Kindness is,

not something you do to be understood by others.

It is not to be thanked, either.

If you start seeking a reward,

kindness turns into a transaction.

Of course,

it is nice to be thanked.

It is nice to be understood.

That is natural.

But,

true kindness,

I believe, is not something whose value changes based on the other person's reaction.

Kindness without strain

Me:
So,
what is true kindness?

Inner voice:
That is a difficult question.

Me:
It is the theme of today's article, after all.

Inner voice:
Suddenly, the responsibility feels heavy.

Me:
Don't run away.

Inner voice:
I don't think kindness is something you should force.

Me:
What do you mean?

Inner voice:
When you have peace of mind, you can naturally be kind to others, right?

Me:
That's true.

Inner voice:
And what about when you don't?

Me:
Even if the convenience store checkout is just a little slow, I feel restless inside.

Inner voice:
That's universal, isn't it?

Me:
So it wasn't just me.

Inner voice:
So first, you need to settle your own mind.

The kindness that comes from there is effortless.

Try looking at kindness through small practices

If you'd like,

just for today,

try asking yourself one thing.

When I am kind to someone, am I also being kind to myself?

Thinking of others is important.

But,

not leaving yourself behind is just as important.

When you have space in your heart,

We can naturally become kind to those around us.

So, first of all,

perhaps it is okay to start by cherishing your own heart.

Sometimes,

we tend to think that kindness means enduring things.

At such times, there is a book I would like to recommend.

What if you die tomorrow?

This book,

while looking at the limited time in our lives,

asks the question,

what is truly important?

Living for someone else is important.

However,

not leaving your own heart behind is just as important.

What is kindness?

What does it mean to live true to yourself?

It is a book that makes you think about these things once again.

Summary - True kindness is also directed toward oneself

Kindness,

is not about sacrificing yourself.

It is not about enduring things forever.

It is about cherishing others.

And,

cherishing yourself as well.

Only when both are present,

can kindness last for a long time.

When there is space in our hearts,

we can naturally be kind to those around us.

That is why,

true kindness,

might begin with taking care of your own heart first.

Next time,

When did we start comparing ourselves to others?

Sometimes we worry about someone else's success,

or feel like we are the only ones falling behind.

But,

have we been comparing ourselves to others,

since the moment we were born?

Deep within this comparison,

there may be an unnoticed voice of the heart hidden away.

We will gently examine the relationship between being yourself and comparison.

We will look at it with kindness.

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