How I, as a Lawyer, Would Get Back Money I Lent - 5 (Proving the 'Loan')

[ Introduction ]

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In this blog, I, as a lawyer, share what I would do if I were to become a 'party' to a dispute or trouble.

I myself have never been a party to a major dispute or trouble in my life, so perhaps I am not in a position to speak for the suffering or anxiety of those who are facing such situations at this very moment.

However, I believe that if I can share how I would handle things from a lawyer's perspective when I become a party to a dispute, it might be helpful to all of you who are reading this.

Since this is strictly 'what I would do,' I realize it may not necessarily apply to everyone reading, but I would be very happy if you could use my methods as a hint and apply them in your own way.

Unfortunately, I cannot know the faces or names of everyone reading this, but thank you for visiting. It is truly encouraging.

[ Today's Topic: Getting Back Money You Lent ]

Today, I will continue to talk about 'getting back money you lent.'

Yesterday, I wrote about the circumstances and reasons why I decided to try to get back the money I gave to a cabaret hostess.

Of course, the cabaret hostess who borrowed money from me and didn't pay it back is at fault, but

(Well, just to be clear, not every cabaret hostess defaults on their debts. However, working as a lawyer, I often encounter men who provide financial support to women they met at cabaret clubs. And the reason they end up thinking, 'I want my money back!' is usually triggered by a deterioration in their relationship with that woman.)

However, my philosophy is that the act of 'lending' itself should be avoided, because

(The promise to 'repay money' itself carries the risk that 'the money might not come back,' and because you made the promise to 'repay,' the expectation that 'the money will come back'—or rather, the feeling that 'it is only natural for the money to be returned'—is born (which leads to anger if the money is not returned). If you assume from the start that it won't come back, you won't expect it to, and you won't feel anger if it doesn't. That is why I believe there is a major problem with the act of handing over money with the promise that it will be 'repaid' (the act of 'lending'). Therefore, you should hand over money with the intention that 'it's fine if it doesn't come back,' and it is important to hand over money only within an amount that you can accept losing.)

At first, I handed over money with the intention that 'it's fine if it doesn't come back.'

However, after falling in love at first sight with the cabaret hostess and becoming completely obsessed, I ended up providing support beyond the amount I could accept losing—in other words, an amount that interfered with my living expenses.

Specifically, I lent about 5 million yen over the year since we met. Of that, about 4 million yen remains unpaid.

If you include the money I paid for cabaret club fees, as well as the date expenses I paid for accompanying her or after-hours, I have spent at least 7 million yen on this cabaret hostess in one year.

My savings, which I had been building up little by little, have hit rock bottom, and I am barely getting by on my monthly salary.

And just yesterday, I received another LINE message from the cabaret hostess, and that finally woke me up.

The moment I hesitated even slightly with money, this hostess cut off our relationship. Having witnessed this, I decided that even if the money I spent at the cabaret club or on restaurant dates wouldn't come back, I would absolutely get back the 4 million yen I had handed to her directly, which remained unpaid.

In a blog post just a few days ago, I wrote that 'giving up is also an effective solution.'

In this case as well, if I were to give up, I would no longer need to be driven mad by anger.

On top of having contributed 4 million yen, I had the relationship cut off, and because of that, feelings of anger were also being triggered.

My life is a mess because of this hostess. It is because my limited, precious time has been whittled away because of her.

However, from this point on, if I try to get the money back, I will be spending even more of my precious life time on this hostess.

If I give up, there will be no further losses. However, if I don't give up, there is a high possibility that I will incur further losses without any gains.

But I decided that I would do it anyway.

I simply cannot accept doing nothing. I will try until the very end, and if not even one yen comes back, then I will give up, but I cannot give up at this point in time.

That is what I thought.

Thinking that, what did I need to do next?

First, securing evidence. From the perspective of 'proving in court' that I lent the money, I needed to secure evidence.

Now, regarding the hostess from whom I am trying to recover the money, she is likely borrowing money from people other than me as well.

People who borrow money are truly skilled at it. They skillfully worm their way into the hearts of people who seem likely to lend, and cleverly extract the amount they think they can get, using the words they think will work.

Therefore, it is highly likely that this hostess is having other men contribute to her, and is also borrowing money from colleagues and the owner at the cabaret club where she works.

If that is the case, the possibility of her repaying voluntarily is zero. She is constantly being chased by repayments, and it feels like she is using borrowed money to make those repayments.

And, making repayments is just bait to beg for money next time. She makes a repayment once to put the person at ease. That way, she can borrow again.

If the person is someone quiet like me, I don't push too hard even if she doesn't repay, so I think the frequency of her repayments is lower.

Now, in Japan, which is a state governed by the rule of law (a nation where the law takes precedence over violence), the only means to force someone who will not repay voluntarily to do so is through a trial (lawsuit).

And, filing a lawsuit does not guarantee that you will get repaid; only after filing a lawsuit and obtaining a judgment ordering repayment can you force them to pay.

So, in order to get a judgment ordering repayment, you must prove that you 'lent' the money.

'Proof' means making a third-party judge believe that it is nine times out of ten certain that you 'lent' the money.

And the only material the judge uses for their decision is the evidence presented in court.

Therefore, 'proof' is getting a third-party judge to think, 'It is almost certainly true that you lent the money,' based solely on the evidence presented in court.

Unless you clear this hurdle of 'proof,' a judgment ordering repayment will not be issued.

Well, if the hostess admits in court that she borrowed the money, proof becomes unnecessary, but you won't know if she will admit to it until the trial begins.

For that reason, you need to collect the necessary evidence for proof, assuming the other party will not admit to borrowing the money.

Well, I'll stop here for today and write the continuation tomorrow.

See you tomorrow! ...↓

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