A story about a job I once had... A story about how I struggled in my own way, despite being as clumsy as ever (Part 1)

I am currently a "slacker stay-at-home wife." I cut corners all the time and can't really do much. I am well aware that I don't even come close to the "stay-at-home wives" of the world.

But even someone like me has some experience working. I'd like to share a bit about that.

▽ Click here for my job hunting struggle story

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At the first company I worked for, I was interested in human resources work. I had hopes for it, but since I was a new employee, I don't remember being asked about my preferences.

However, I was coincidentally assigned to the department I had hoped for. I was simply happy. I suspect that my qualifications and background from school might have led to that outcome.

I was clumsy and couldn't learn the work very quickly, so it often took me a long time, and I would end up staying late. I didn't believe that "overtime is an aesthetic," but I ended up staying late as a result.

Then, a senior colleague taught me, "If you do it this way, you'll be able to get your work done faster." At the time, handwriting and manual calculation were the norm, and since "calculating with a calculator and writing it down" was the standard, I thought using a word processor's spreadsheet to "calculate and print just by entering numbers" was revolutionary. In fact, very few people around me were doing that.

What is now common practice with the spread of personal computers and software like Excel was not common at the time, just before PCs became widespread, so I was very grateful to have been taught that.

From then on, even if it meant working overtime, I changed everything I could into spreadsheets. I had to do the traditional manual calculations as a backup, so it took twice as long as usual, but once it got on track, it became much easier.

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Also, there were many things I was taught by my superiors while working.

"Rabi-chan, you're only thinking about the work right in front of you, that's why that happens. You need to be aware of which gear you are responsible for within the company while you work."

"The people at the branch office have it tough. It makes them really angry to be told what to do from the head office with a condescending attitude. So, if you don't convey things like 'please cooperate' instead of saying 'do this,' no one will do it for you."

I was taught these things and more. At the time, something resonated with me, and it gave me a lot to think about. It was very useful in my later work, so I am grateful to those superiors and their words.

I was young at the time, so I especially disliked being scolded or told what to do, but looking back now, I understand well that "it's a blessing to be told things while you still can."

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After many failures, being scolded, and being taught, I experienced a transfer.

It always takes me time to get used to new work, so I struggled each time. During that time, I was told things like "you're the only one doing that job," and I was told to do "unreasonable work" that made no sense, making me think, "Why do I have to do that?!" There were many times when I felt like my heart would break.

However, although my methods seemed wasteful at first glance and were criticized, there were parts I did that way for my own reasons. Even if it wasn't understood at the time, I took the liberty of sticking to the methods I decided were best for everyone's sake. (I apologize to those who were in the same department at the time.)

Several years later, after I had transferred again, the person who took over my duties was still carefully keeping the manual I had filled with notes.

"Oh? Is that still around?"

"Oh, did you write this, Rabbit-san? This has been a lifesaver. It contains things that aren't even in the official manual, and when I look here, I can answer calls from the various sales offices. I'm so grateful you took the time to write it down," she told me.

I was so glad that my beliefs, or perhaps my feelings, had finally gotten through... As I talked with her and looked at that old manual, I felt saved by the person who had expressed such gratitude, and I would like to take this opportunity to thank her once again.

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At one point, I passed a certification exam that was only useful within my company, and I was transferred to the relevant department.

Rather than thinking about using that qualification immediately, I had taken the exam because I was interested in it and thought, since I intended to work until retirement, "It would be good to study and get qualifications while I'm young, so they'll be useful when I'm an old lady."

In fact, the exam was difficult, and many people took years to pass it. I had thought, "I'm done for!!" when I took it, so not only was I surprised, but those around me were as well.

On the day of my transfer, I still remember how happy I was when the head of the department I was leaving said to me, "We assigned you there to make use of that qualification, so do your best."

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However, once I got there, it was a department full of middle-aged men nearing retirement. Only one person, who would become my direct supervisor, was working desperately, while the rest were just chatting or zoning out—it was a disastrous state of affairs.

Because of that, they had no intention of training me in that field. I was actually told, "Rabbit-san, you just need to serve tea and make copies!" and I wasn't allowed to join meetings or training sessions. There was almost no work, partly due to the season, and it was a place that made my previous busy and difficult times feel like a lie.

At first, there were times I could go home while it was still light out, which made me very happy, and I thought of it as a good break. But being too free is also a problem, and since I was in the same room as other departments, it was quite noticeable.

However, I had come from a department where I was so busy that phone memos for me were plastered all over my desk like an exhibition, and I had moved to a place that people already thought, "What is up with that department?" So, everyone seemed very curious about what I would do, and I was asked all sorts of things.

In fact, when a junior colleague who worked under a difficult supervisor told me, "I'm having a hard time too, but I think it's better than your department, Rabbit-san," I was shocked and thought, "It's gotten that bad...!"

Once various actual problems started to arise, I thought, "If I don't start moving, even if it's just a little bit, something terrible is going to happen!!" I made my own appeals, and although it was only a little at a time, things started to change.

The person in the next department had been watching me struggle, so when I was in trouble with something, they went with me to appeal to the executive director. I am truly grateful. I still feel that way today. It makes me shudder to think what would have happened if that person hadn't been there.

But since the top management were people with old-fashioned ideas, although I think Supervisor Z understood how I felt, things didn't progress very easily.

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In the midst of all this, Supervisor Z, the group leader who was the youngest at the time, was forced to take on work that the other middle-aged men wouldn't do. Seeing him struggle, I wanted to see if I could be of any help.

I asked my boss, Z, "Is there anything I can help you with?" and when he replied, "Really? That would be a huge help! Could you take care of this?" I said, "Understood," and helped him out.

One of the tasks involved creating a certain set of data. Since it would be time-consuming and difficult for everyone to input unfamiliar text, I proposed to Boss Z, "I'll try to come up with a way to do this by just entering numbers, without needing to type text." With help from a junior colleague who was knowledgeable about Excel for the difficult parts, I managed to create the data entry tool, even if it was a bit crude, and taught everyone how to use it—literally like a "computer class," speaking in a loud voice.

It didn't go smoothly at first, and another boss interfered, making it a struggle to get things on track, but I managed to finish it. Seeing that, I felt relieved.

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One day, during a goal-setting interview related to performance reviews, Boss Z, who had since become my direct supervisor, told me,

"Rabbit-san, your goal is to teach everyone here so that they can use computers to a certain degree."he said.

I couldn't believe those words. Even if I hadn't reached the point of getting certified and putting it to use, I had at least hoped to be allowed to study, but what was expected of me was on a completely different vector. By the way, I am all for helping people in need, but I am not a computer class instructor.

I appealed to Boss Z, but I ended up getting scolded instead.

I cried afterward. Why did I take that exam? Why did I pass it?

I had already wasted quite a lot of my paid leave, so I decided to give up and thought, "If there's no work to do anyway, I'm going to take as much time off as possible!" and proceeded to take paid leave as much as I could.

At the same time, I started attending a school to study something I was interested in, which was covered by the employment insurance education and training benefit system at the time. That became one of the triggers for me to realize that I was surprisingly well-suited for something.

I realized then that it is important to try everything.

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Even after that, there were various issues between the older men who could use computers and those who couldn't.

The continuation of this will be next time...

▽ Click here for the continuation of the story

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