Why not try parenting a little more loosely?

I have to face them properly.
I have to speak to them properly.
I have to raise them properly.

Thinking that way, are you keeping your guard up again today?

I have spent five years in the field of developmental support.
And I am raising two children of my own.

Through that experience, there is one thing I feel strongly.

Parenting is just right when it is a little loose.

🌪 If you are too meticulous, the parent gets exhausted first.

In the field of developmental support,

・Strong temper tantrums
・Difficulty switching tasks
・Difficulty joining groups

I interact with children like that every day.

The parents are truly doing their very best.

They accept their emotions,
choose their words carefully,
and try to interact without being negative.

But the more intense the interaction in the home,
the greater the exhaustion for the parent.

When there are developmental characteristics,
the number of times you have to speak to them in a day is many times that of an average household.

If you respond to everything with 100% effort,
your energy will be depleted.

🧠 Children can feel their parents' tension

“I have to make them do it properly.”
“I have to correct that right now.”

This subtle tension is transmitted to the child.

Even during developmental support sessions,
the moment a parent relaxes their shoulders,
the child's movements can become softer.

It is the same at home.

I myself was putting too much pressure on myself when raising my first child.

・Trying to reason with them
・Trying to explain with logic
・Searching for the perfect thing to say

As a result, both parent and child became exhausted.

When I became a little more loose,
the atmosphere changed.

🌿 Being loose is not giving up

Being loose means:

・Not correcting every single time
・Letting small things slide
・Not giving perfect explanations

This is a choice.

A mother once said:

“I’m not going to look at everything anymore.”

After that,
the frequency of tantrums decreased slightly.

The reason is simple.

When the parent's pressure decreases,
the child's defenses also go down.

✅ “Just the right amount of loose” you can start today

① Let one thing slide once a day
It’s okay to let things go that don't involve life or safety.

② Reduce the number of times you scold
Limit it only to truly necessary situations.

③ Keep explanations short
“Stop that now” is enough.

🚫 Common mistakes

・Trying to resolve everything perfectly every time
・Comparing with other families
・Assuming it’s the parent’s fault

It is not the parent's fault.

Developmental traits are not a result of poor discipline.

It is a matter of compatibility with the environment and individual characteristics.

🌈 Rather than perfection, focus on engagement you can sustain.

What I strongly feel in the field of developmental support is that,

the more stable parents are,
the more they possess the 'skill of not taking everything on'.

Cut back.
Choose.
Rest.

That, in the end,
leads to the child's sense of security.

Parenting is a long-distance run.

Consistency is better than a perfect score.

Being a little bit loose is just right.

Your well-being
is more important than anything else.

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