How I made work easier by learning to say, 'Please wait 3 minutes'

I am not very good at being spoken to suddenly.
Perhaps because of my HSP temperament, if someone calls out to me while I'm working, my mind freezes for a moment.

“How should I reply?”
“How can I explain this so they understand?”

While I'm thinking about things like that, my reply ends up being delayed, and from the other person's perspective, I might have looked like someone who is closed off.

But after I started working, I realized something.
Communication skills aren't about being a good talker.
It's about being able to honestly say, “I'm having trouble” or “I don't understand” when you're in a bind.
I think that might be the most important thing.

I can't reply right away

When you're at work, there are times when you're concentrating on typing on your computer, right?
If someone speaks to me suddenly, I can't switch gears very well.

Because I can't switch gears, the conversation doesn't sink in. I've had times where I looked at the notes I took of what I heard, but couldn't remember what the notes were about.

So,
lately, I've decided to just be honest and say this:
“Excuse me, could I finish what I'm typing right now?”
“Could you wait just 3 minutes?”

Most people will wait.

Conversely, if it's truly urgent, they'll say, “It'll only take a word,” and in that case, I stop my work and listen.
After I've entered the mode to listen calmly,

“Sorry to keep you waiting. I'm ready now.”
I make sure to say that and turn to face the person to listen to them.
I feel like we can both talk more comfortably than if I try to listen while working.

Introductory phrases when asking for advice

I also use a little trick when I'm asking for advice.

Instead of jumping straight into the main topic,

“I'm not sure if I can explain this well, but...”
“My interpretation might be wrong, but...”
“There's something I think I should consult with you about beforehand, but...”
I add a phrase like this at the beginning.

Then, it becomes easier for me to talk, and the other person often listens with the attitude of,
“Well then, let's organize it together.”

Not saying anything is the most troublesome thing

I don't think you need to be able to give a perfect explanation from the start.

If it's a misunderstanding, they'll tell you,
“That part is fine.”
If it's something you hadn't noticed, they might say,

“Thank you for letting me know early.”
Bottling things up alone is scarier than not being able to talk well. I feel like quite a lot of the workplace troubles I've seen were triggered by someone bottling things up alone.

Conclusion

Lately, people often say that “communication skills are important” even in job hunting.

But I don't think communication skills are just about being a good talker.

Consulting when you're in trouble.
Asking when you don't understand.
Saying, “Please wait a moment.”

People who can do that kind of small-scale reporting, communicating, and consulting will surely find both their work and their human relationships becoming a little easier.

As an HSP, I still freeze a little when someone speaks to me suddenly.
But I've become able to say, “Please wait a moment,” instead of “I'm bad at this, so I'll stay silent.”
I feel like just that has made working much easier.

By the way, my boyfriend (who has an ADHD temperament) talks to me about things as they pop into his head.
But apparently, there are quite a few times when I don't even notice that he's spoken to me.

He'll say, “Were you listening?”
And I'll often go, “Huh?”
Of course, I'm not working at those times.
Where in the world do I go off to...

It's a mystery even to me 🤣