Everyone Has Their Own 'Ruler'

Ruler

A 'ruler' that everyone has used at least once since they were children.

It is a tool for measuring length, but I think that people's hearts also have their own different 'rulers'.

When looking at the same event, some people laugh while others get angry.

When hearing the same words, some people feel encouraged while others feel hurt.

This is not a matter of which is right or which is wrong.

It is simply that the 'rulers' they possess are different.

Having faced children in the field of education for over 20 years, I have felt the existence of this 'ruler' many times.

Today, I would like to talk about that.

When rulers are different, things don't get across

The other day, I was talking with my students about likes and dislikes.

I said,

'I eat normal vegetables.'

I said.

The ones I don't eat are broccoli and cauliflower.
(My apologies to all the producers.)

Then a student said,

'Broccoli is also a normal vegetable.'

I had imagined cabbage, potatoes, daikon radishes, and Chinese cabbage, which have high production volumes, and used the word 'normal'.

On the other hand, the students...

"Vegetables normally sold at the supermarket"

"Vegetables normally eaten at home"

I understood it in that sense.

Neither is wrong.

It is just that the yardstick used to measure 'normal' was different.

There are similar examples in English.

a few and few.

We learn that both mean 'a little,' but the impression they give is actually different.

a few means 'there is a little.'

few means 'there is almost none.'

Even when looking at the same quantity, the impression conveyed changes significantly depending on which yardstick you use to perceive it.

As we have seen so far, a yardstick is not just a tool for measuring length.

Everyone sees the world through their own unique yardstick.

In other words, a 'yardstick' is the standard by which people feel, judge, and accept things.

Therefore,

"You're tired from just this much?"

"You're hurt by something like that?"

"You can try harder, can't you?"

Perhaps even that phrase is a way of measuring others by our own yardstick.

It is easy to understand if you think about a 100-meter dash.

For a track athlete, 100 meters might just be a warm-up.

However, for someone who doesn't exercise regularly, even 100 meters will leave them out of breath.

Neither one is necessarily right.

It is just that their yardsticks for physical stamina are different.

The same applies to studying.

There are children for whom focusing for 30 minutes is their absolute best.

'Only 30 minutes?'

You might think.

But for that child, it is 30 minutes where they truly tried their hardest.

What is important is not to use your own yardstick, but to try to understand the other person's yardstick.

Adjusting to a child's yardstick

In educational settings, you sometimes hear words like these:

'You don't even understand this?'

The person who said it has no malicious intent.

That is because, by their own yardstick, it is a 'simple thing'.

However, that one remark can sometimes cause a child to close their heart.

"I can't do it."

"I'm afraid to ask questions."

"I don't want to study anymore."

People end up feeling that way.

Just because a child doesn't understand doesn't necessarily mean they have low ability.

It might just be that the way of explaining doesn't match that child's ruler.

When I am not understood, I try not to think,

"Why don't they understand?"

but rather,

"How can I make them understand?"

I try to think that way.

Change the words.

Try drawing a diagram.

Replace it with a familiar example.

Try going back a step and explaining.

Education is not about showing off your own knowledge.

I believe it is about matching the other person's ruler and descending to a place where they can understand.

The ruler will gradually grow longer.

Education is not just about accepting the child as they are now.

Of course, there is no need to blame someone for what they cannot do.

However, I also believe it is wrong to decide on their limitations from the start by saying, 'This child is just that kind of child.'

Every child possesses the power to grow.

I once studied with a first-year junior high school student who attended a special support class.

We took on fraction calculations that they had not yet learned at school.

They struggled at first, but by building up their understanding one step at a time, they were finally able to solve them on their own.

I still cannot forget the smile on their face at that moment.

And then, that child said:

I want to do this again next week.

That single sentence made me happier than anything else.

Education is not just about helping capable children excel further.

Being able to do a little more than yesterday.

Being able to think, 'I want to try this.'

Through the accumulation of such experiences, a child's yardstick gradually grows longer.

They are not a child who only scored 20 points.

They are a child who improved by 10 points compared to yesterday.

There is no need to compare them with other children.

Seeing that a child has grown a little more today than they were yesterday.

Continuing to support that step is what I believe education is.

The yardstick of us adults

Just as children have their own yardsticks, adults have theirs too.

The markings on that yardstick increase the longer we have lived.

However, precisely because it is a yardstick we have used for a long time, it can sometimes become rigid due to our assumptions and experiences without us realizing it.

That is not always correct.

The moment you think only your own yardstick is correct, you stop listening to others.

Education, child-rearing, and human relationships are all the same.

Trying to understand the other person's yardstick.

And supporting that person so they can grow just a little more than they did yesterday.

Isn't that what it truly means to 'nurture'?

Children become able to do things today that they couldn't do yesterday.

I have witnessed that moment many times over more than 20 years.

That is why I do not want to easily make assumptions about a child's potential.

Education is not about imposing your own yardstick, but about understanding the child's yardstick and helping them extend it little by little.

That is what I consider to be education.

Your own yardstick

Finally, there is one more important 'yardstick'.

That is the yardstick you use for yourself.

We may be kind to others, but we can be too hard on ourselves.

'I can still do more.'

'I must not rest.'

'It's fine if I just endure it.'

Are you not continuing to apply such a yardstick to yourself?

I myself lost my mother this February.

Because it was right before the entrance exams, I went to work except for the necessary days for the funeral and such.

Until I opened the classroom door, I was filled with sadness.

Even so, the moment I opened the door, I switched my mindset and tried to be as I always am in front of the students.

Of course, that is my job.

But looking back now, I might have been applying a yardstick that was a little too strict to myself.

When you are sad, it is okay to be sad.

When you are in pain, it is okay to say 'I am in pain'.

When you are tired, it is okay to rest.

That is not being self-indulgent.

It is about valuing yourself.

Just as you try to understand a child's yardstick, I would like you to sometimes turn your attention to your own as well.

Continuing to push yourself beyond your limits is not the only way to work hard.

I now believe that it is precisely because you are someone who can protect yourself that you can continue to support others for a long time.