Why I, Who Once Worked Like a Demon, Broke Down and Became a Freelancer

I used to be solely responsible for the purchasing operations of artist and idol merchandise, as well as managing a blog. It was a grueling daily routine of appraisals, handling emails and LINE messages, coordinating between departments, training staff, and writing blog posts.

That was my daily routine; overtime was the norm, weekend shifts were frequent, and I had almost no private time.

Even so, the overall site traffic was steadily increasing thanks to the blog posts I wrote, and my contributions to the company were visible in the numbers, yet I was never fairly evaluated due to my boss's convenience.

The reality that young employees don't stay, yet the responsibility falls on me

I was tasked with training new employees, but when I consulted my boss after they failed to show up for work properly for weeks, he just dismissed it by saying, "They're young, it can't be helped."
With no one taking responsibility, training didn't progress, and in the end, the burden just fell on me.

Eventually, a "person who got promoted by being the loudest," who only started acting on the president's orders, came in as a leader and told me, "Your training is the problem," without even knowing the situation on the ground.

Before long, the mental health of a subordinate who had been working seriously with me also broke down, and it was truly painful when I was blamed for being the cause.

While blaming myself, I clung to my work, continuing to put in overtime, working on holidays, and handling unreasonable demands, which ultimately led to my own mental breakdown.

"Re-evaluated after quitting"—but it's too late

After I resigned, the work I had been doing alone couldn't be finished even when divided among several people,
and I heard that I was re-evaluated with comments like, "That person was amazing."

However, that evaluation came after I had already left.
No matter how hard you work, it's meaningless if it isn't rewarded.
I realized painfully that even if you work until you break, you are the only one who will protect yourself.

Now, I work with my passions and AI

I am now making a fresh start as a freelance writer.
While dealing with chronic PTSD and adjustment disorder, I am publishing articles about music, games, AI, and my personal interests on a blog site I created myself and on note.

The "research skills," "writing ability," "structuring skills," and "ability to empathize with fans" that were not valued at the company are all being put to use in my work now.

If there is anyone else out there who is on the verge of breaking down, I want to tell them this:
Your value is not determined solely by your company's evaluation.