To Me, the Pisces

I don't want to fight

I want to get along with everyone

I want us all to support each other

That was me as a child, filled with such wishes.
But reality doesn't always go that well.
Contrary to my wishes, things went in the opposite direction.

Arguments

Nasty rumors

Bickering and jealousy...

My heart couldn't take it.
Only my own helplessness remained in that place.

That was the moment I despaired of this world.

*

The emptiness of not being understood no matter how much I try to explain.

The unreasonableness of having responsibilities and burdens pushed onto me without my permission.

A dark shadow spreading in my heart.

"What am I..."

I just want to get along with everyone.

I just want the person in front of me to smile.

Why is it that,
reality is always so harsh...

My sincerity is being trampled upon.

Such feelings welled up in my young heart.
I can't believe in anything anymore.

Neither myself nor others.

Even in my home, the place where my heart should feel most at ease, it was filled with a heavy, oppressive atmosphere.

Even when I went outside, people judged others by their possessions.

My kindness was not valued but disregarded,
sometimes treated as a convenience, used to the other person's advantage...
I lost track of what was real.

"What on earth am I?"

My existence is fading away.
Such questions are all that cover my body.

My heart has worn thin.

The courage to stand up,
and even the hope to face things,
have all run dry.

Even without hostility, I spend every day in doubt.

Do they really think that?
Maybe they are actually saying something behind my back.

The feeling of trust is drifting away.

More than anything to me,
the most important, most precious way of being in my heart.

I have lost sight of the sincerity called 'trust'.

Good intentions all backfire,
and the feeling of trust is being betrayed.

It was enough to gouge out my young heart.

＊

Because I am a Pisces, with blurred boundaries between people, I thought I had to accept everything.

I thought that forgiving and accepting everything was love.

But that is wrong.

Drawing a line between myself and others, firmly protecting my own territory, and then facing, acknowledging, and forgiving each other—that was the 'friendly' world I desired.

From now on, I will draw my own boundaries.

With strength, not just righteousness.

Keeping the devoted heart unique to a Pisces, I will use my own sense of justice as the line I draw.

'Why only me?'

'Why is it so unrewarding?'

The harsh reality I have been forced to face again and again.
This harsh reality has built an unbreakable heart within me.

To the suffering of not being able to run away even if I wanted to,
to the feeling of being cramped as if bound by invisible chains,

the suppleness to endure,

and the desire to believe even when betrayed,
the desire to love even when disregarded.

The strength to face others without losing that kindness that wells up from the core of my heart

I feel that I have finally attained it.

It is enough; my own domain is complete.
I have also created my own sense of justice.

Now, I will trust in that and get along with the people in front of me.

Keeping the good parts of being a Pisces, I will deliver love to those before me in my own way.