Can I do it alone?

Speaking of love hearts, that means marriage hunting, right? ( ´∀｀ )
The path to becoming a full-time housewife seems to be moving forward and then stopping. 😂

I thought about the challenges I face as I aim to get married for the third time at age 50.

I went for counseling at a marriage agency in October 2022 and started my marriage hunting on an auspicious day in November.

In October, I also broke up with a boyfriend I had been seeing for a year, but it was somewhat within the realm of expectation, so my heart was calm... By September, I was already thinking about a life alone or a life with someone other than him.

I read this essay by Yukimaru-san when I was wondering, 'Can I actually live alone?'

Yukimaru-san is a wonderful woman who seems to stand firmly and independently in society. ❤️
That's why I look at her with envious eyes, thinking how much I admire her for enjoying her time alone like that, and just watching her gives me energy. ✨

When I read the comment section, there were many comments from people I wasn't connected with at the time!
It seems many of them were saying, 'I also enjoy being on my own.'
Solo Katsu no Susumeis a drama I also like, and I watched all of it, but while the solo activities in it were wonderful, my impression was, 'I don't think I could do any of these.' But I admired them.

So, although I didn't comment, at that point I was thinking, 'I am also someone who can't enter a shop alone. I want to become someone who can enjoy being alone someday. ♡'

When I thought about trying marriage hunting

Entering a shop alone, ordering, eating, paying, and leaving.
I wondered if the day I could do that would ever come.

But you know... when I decided to stand in the marriage hunting field, and I read this book I received when I had lunch with Midori-san, who is my friend and teacher...

I thought, I need more strength to be alone!!

I realized that adult marriage is when people who can enjoy their time alone come together,
the 'strength to become two.'

I realized that my life until now has been one where the only places I could proudly say "this is me" during my time alone were my home and my workplace.

Housework done at home
Esthetic treatments done at a salon

Both of these were things I did alone. I felt that this was who I was when I was doing them.

Housework done for my children
Esthetic treatments provided for my clients

Doing things "for someone" is something that feels good to anyone.

But, the "for someone" in Yukimaru-san's essay about "solo lunch" istime and money spent for myself♡

I suddenly realized that it is alsotime to cherish myself.

I also realized that living together as people who can both have time to cherish themselves is what "adult marriage" is, and that it is my ideal as I have decided to get married again at 50 (^^)/

I want to become someone who can enjoy being alone♡
Although I thought that, there were shops I couldn't enter because I was too shy...

How many times have I gone out and turned back after just pretending to look? (lol)

H❤️O❤️W❤️E❤️V❤️E❤️R❤️

That moment arrived suddenly~♡

It was in November. After finishing my visit to Izumo Taisha, I left the ticket gate where I had said goodbye to my two friends, and just as I thought, well, time to go home...
a sign that said "We serve morning sets" caught my eye.

I went on a two-night trip to Izumo Taisha with a relaxed schedule tailored to my physical condition.
My two friends, who are female business owners, returned on the morning of the third day and went straight from the ticket gate
to their offices at a brisk pace.
I felt a bit left behind, but at the same time, I felt that I was the only one with free time.

That was when the "We serve morning sets" sign caught my eye.

Alright, let's go for it!!

It was a coffee shop I had visited several times for meetings with my daughter, my son, and the president of the company I currently work for. Because of that, the hurdle felt low, and the casual nature of the morning service was a relief.a coffee shop I had visited several timeswas a relief.

However, once I entered, I struggled with choosing a seat, choosing from the menu, and choosing the morning set (lol).
I sat in a seat designed for one person, partitioned off from others, and ordered a warm Earl Grey tea without any fuss.
It's a coffee shop where you can choose your tea leaves; maybe I should have gone with the Nilgiri one 🤣

As for the comfort of being alone...
It didn't feel particularly great, but the experience was completely different from brewing tea and eating toast at home, and I felt like I had somehow leveled up.

After this, I had a series of matchmaking meetings and was busy, but then I hit a 'sudden brake' that those of you who know me are familiar with, and I reverted back to being on my own again.

Alright, time for a fresh start!

Next, I'll try having lunch somewhere.
I made that my goal for the rest of the year (*´▽｀*)

And then...
This time, I thought I'd aim for a place I've never been to with anyone else!

You need a trigger to make things happen, right?
First, I ate up all the stock in my refrigerator.
I created a situation where I couldn't easily eat at home and went out.
'If I don't eat out today, I won't have anything to eat~'
I'm such a masochist for putting that kind of pressure on myself.

I went to a cafe in the shopping district that I had been curious about ♡

The exterior of the cafe has a very handmade feel, and the interior also had a retro atmosphere where I could relax ♡

It was a taco rice lunch ♡

For someone like me who can't drink coffee, I would usually ask whoever I was with to eat the coffee jelly for me.
I could have just left it, but since I knew this cafe was so particular about coffee that they even sold their own roasted beans, I felt bad leaving it and decided to try it.

Huh? It's delicious.
That was my reaction. Thanks to an unexpected trigger, I overcame one of my likes/dislikes!!

I started to think that maybe I could do this.
Or rather, that it might actually be fun...

Next time...

Maybe I'll dress up a little and go out ♡

I've started seeking that kind of progress (lol)

I wonder if there are any Nagoya locals who recognize where this is from this photo~❤️
This is a great place for dining alone~♡
At 12:00 PM, which is lunchtime, there was a high percentage of ladies dining alone~♡

When I entered, they didn't say“How many people?”but instead
“Just one, are you here for lunch?”they said!❣️

Yes! Yes! That's right!!!!!!!!

That's what I shouted in my heart🤣
In reality, I just said, “Yes, that's right (smile),” pretending to be a regular😚

The French bread was very delicious, but one was enough.
I think I'll tell them from the start next time I go.

By the time the main course was brought out, the restaurant was full.
A couple was sitting right in front of me, so I enjoyed the happy vibes while watching the two of them being so affectionate, and I felt happy too~❤️❤️❤️

It was getting close to the end of the year, but I felt like trying one more place❗

A coffee shop right in the neighborhood. I don't know how many times I've passed by it.
It's always crowded with locals, so I've always backed away and couldn't bring myself to enter, but I was curious about it.
The time was 1:45 PM that day.

I went in thinking that if lunch was over, I'd just have some tea.

Still, when you do things like this every couple of days, you get used to it~

I was even able to ask, “Is lunch still available?”

When I was taking a picture of the interior...
The camera was flipped, and I accidentally took a selfie ( ´∀｀ )

The lunch that day was breaded white fish.
It was delicious~♡

It was my first time visiting, but the staff talked to me,
and I learned that it was their last business day of the year, that the side dish of simmered food was for Osechi, that the boy stretching and shrinking at the counter was their grandson, and that they run the shop with their daughter.
I also naturally found myself talking about how I live in the neighborhood and how I always pass by but never had the courage to enter.
I felt like I finally understood why this coffee shop is the gathering place for the local ladies who always ride their bikes here♡

They also sold handmade cakes, and I wanted to eat one, but business hours were coming to an end... so I took home a chocolate chiffon cake that day and enjoyed it slowly at home(*´▽｀*)

Oh my~~
Dining alone might be fun~♡

That said, since that coffee shop that day, I've only entered a place alone once, at Starbucks.
A month has already passed since those days when I was challenging myself to dine alone.

Also, when I thought I was about to lose my sense of self, I felt like watching the movie that Old Lady's Daily Life♡ introduced.

That's it!

I'll challenge myself to go to the movies alone!!

Right now, my physical condition is in a loving relationship with the symptom of 'getting sleepy'♡
Collagen disease SLE has various symptoms, but compared to pain or itching,
being sleepy is somehow peaceful♡

In the midst of that, I decided to challenge myself to a movie, so I went to the cinema!!

Isn't the hurdle a bit high all of a sudden?🤣

I thought that too, but the desire to watch what Old Lady's Daily Life recommended won out❗

The movie was only showing in one theater.
It's Century Cinema in the Nagoya PARCO East Building.

It's close to my home, which I'm grateful for.
Even if I feel unwell, it's a distance where I can easily take a taxi home, so I decided to go.

I made an online reservation and secured a seat. This action really solidified mydetermination to go.

I decided to finish my meal for the day before the doors opened.
Right now, when I enter sleepy mode, I tend to skip meals, so I've lost a little weight again.
I arrived at Nagoya PARCO and made sure to get some calories in while I was still feeling sharp (* ´ ▽ ` *)ﾉ

To my surprise, everyone in the restaurant was there alone!
Each person was sitting alone at a four-person table😍

I had some delicious curry and lassi
~❤️

I will leave my thoughts on the movie I watched after this in another post later.🥰

Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris
The screening in Nagoya has been extended, so you can watch it until the 27th! I highly recommend it.(* ´ ▽ ` *)ﾉ✨

I might not be able to get my review out before the 27th, but I wanted to share the title just in case, as I really hope you go see it.❣️

Oh, that's right.😃💡 I'll link to the post by Roba no Nichijo Sahanji.❤️
Roba no Nichijo Sahanji, thank you so much for telling me about this movie.🎀

As I have started to enjoy being on my own,
please watch over me
until the day I fulfill my adult marriage and wear a wedding dress.❤️