What is seen and what is unseen

Hmm.
Damn collagen disease.

I know it's better not to view illness aggressively.

I know, I know, but
to be honest,
it really pisses me off!!!

Collagen disease doesn't go away, but it doesn't kill you instantly either.
I also know that if I can't be grateful for being alive,
it can get even worse.

I know, I know, but
to be honest,
I want to do more than just breathe!

It's been about 20 years
since I started living with this condition,
and during that time I raised my children as a single parent,
and although I didn't have a mother to help me,
my neighbors helped me a lot.

It was my neighbors who noticed,
"Could it be collagen disease?"

When I couldn't move because of the pain from rheumatism,
my daughter, who was in the lower grades of elementary school,
would wash the rice, cook it, and feed it to her younger brother.
There were times when we couldn't buy rice and had to eat bread crusts.

When I had systemic lupus erythematosus
and my light allergy was severe,
she would be happy, saying, "How exciting!"
that I could only go outside at night.

Huh?
Wait a minute.

What is this story about? (laughs)

The good girl I am that you all see.
Facing illness with a smile.
The always positive me.

What is seen and what is unseen

Today, I'm going to let go of the unseen me who's pretending to be a good girl

and write down my grievances about my illness!
Or so I thought.

As I was writing, I realized how much I have been loved and encouraged by my children in their adorable prime,
and how they still love me now, no matter the situation.

That is what has become clear to me.

Come to think of it, even yesterday's dinner.

Sebastian supports me too.

I'm a wife who can't do anything, and I'm not even a full-time housewife, so I wonder what I am, but I guess my title can just be 'human'.
Oh, let's make my title 'beauty'.

This is loveheart, the full-time housewife,
or rather,
this is loveheart, the beauty.

It looks like this is going to become a note that nobody reads anymore 😂

While writing, my resentment toward my collagen disease faded away,
and good memories came back to me.

Thank you for reading until the end
❤️

The header image is a candle byUtautai Yuki🕯️

Usually, I light a candle, drink coffee, and do a live stream on Stand.fm for about 15 minutes, but today I really couldn't drink coffee, so I wrote this note while just drinking hot water.

This current symptom is also taking away my appetite.
Because I'm a sleep-deprived monster, I've barely been able to read, so I apologize for writing and running, but please watch over me gently ❤️

I plan to be fully recovered in two days 💪

#WhatAreYouTalkingAbout
#CollagenDisease
#SystemicLupusErythematosus
#SjogrenSyndrome
#Rheumatism
#TomorrowShouldBeBetterThanToday