"What happens if you go shopping with the philosopher Immanuel Kant?" A cat's fantasy diary 🐈

One day, the philosopher Immanuel Kant said:

"Thinking cat 🐱. Today, let's go shopping together 🛒"

Huh? To the mall with Professor Kant? 🏬

I've been reading the professor's books 📖
Every time, I read them until steam comes out of my head 🌋 🐈‍⬛

"I see. That is good. Keep striving for the sake of reason!"

By the way, what are you going to buy, Professor?

Kant: "Hmm? ...Well, things necessary for reason."

Shopping with the professor 🛒

A philosopher should make rational, efficient purchases!

That's what I thought.

However, this was completely wrong... 🙀


🥛 Scene 1: Stopping at the milk aisle🐈‍⬛

Me: "I'll take this milk."

Kant: "Wait."

The moment I tried to pick up the milk, I was stopped.

Kant: "Do you think you are seeing the milk itself right now?"

......Huh?

Kant: "What you are seeing is merely a phenomenon that has passed through your form of perception, as something white, cold, and inside a carton."

The milk suddenly became a philosophical entity... 🥛

Kant: "We cannot know the thing-in-itself."

No, I just want to drink some milk... 🙀

Scene 2: Alcohol section🐈‍⬛

Me: "I'll get some low-malt beer for my evening drink 🍺"

Kant: "Low-malt beer? In other words, is that alcohol?"

Here it comes!

Kant: "Are you not reading my books?"

Yes, I am reading them, but...

Kant: "What would happen if everyone acted on the principle of buying alcohol because they like it?"

......There would be more drunks in the world, and it would be a disaster...

Kant: "That is not a rational act."

My small nightly pleasure has become a moral issue 🙀

Scene 3: Sweets corner

Me: "Oh, donuts 🍩 look delicious!"

Kant: "Hmm, sweets. However, that will cause a massive secretion of insulin."

What is it this time...?

Kant: "Do you intend to lower the limits of reason even further with drowsiness?"

...😹

🛒With the basket still empty🐈‍⬛

When I realized it, the basket was empty.

Or rather, I couldn't buy anything... 🙀

Every time I tried to pick something up,

・Is it a phenomenon?
・Can it withstand the categorical imperative?
・Can it be rationally justified?

A "critique" by pure reason was being applied...

And Professor Kant said:

"Act not by impulse, but by reason."

The supermarket has become a testing ground for "critical philosophy" 🙀

🧾 Summary🐈‍⬛

When you go shopping with Professor Kant,

Milk is turned into a "phenomenon",
Alcohol is rejected by the "universalization test",
And impulse buying is completely denied by the "categorical imperative."

Professor Kant said proudly:

"Reason correctly grasps phenomena. And it transcends the desires for sugar and alcohol."

As expected.

A total victory.

I am completely defeated 🙀


🧾 The incident happened after the register🐈‍⬛

After leaving the store, a receipt fluttered from the professor's clothes in the wind.

I picked it up.

What was written there was,

......Huh?

I looked at the professor.

The professor quietly looked away.

Me: "Professor, what did you buy those for?"

The professor said in an orderly fashion.

"I did not buy this for pleasure. It is for the continuation of thought."

The continuation of thought?
What a forced rational rephrasing.

Me: "Isn't that just a reward?"

Kant: "No. It is a means to maintain the activity of reason."

Professor, that seems a bit contradictory...

Kant: "Indeed, I said not to buy. And yet I bought. You would call this a contradiction.
However, reason cannot completely unify the world. The me that follows desire, and the me of reason that forbids it.
Both exist simultaneously.
This is the antinomy inherent in reason."

I didn't understand the meaning at all...🙀

That night, the professor was quietly drinking wine🍷.
At least, as a phenomenon...🐈‍⬛

*This article is complete fiction, but it seems to be a fact that Professor Kant liked wine🍷.
It seems reason and wine were compatible after all😸