The Meaning of 'Living' That Illness Taught Me

I took the day off today and am at the hospital.
Ever since I was suddenly diagnosed with a certain illness a few years ago, I have been visiting the hospital regularly. Even now, I still feel a little nervous on the days of my check-ups.Although I have been told that this illness is not directly life-threatening, the feeling that 'this illness became a turning point in my life'has always been in my heart.
Since then,the feeling of 'not putting off what I want to do' has become stronger than beforewithin me.
I still remember that day vividly.
My medical check-up a few months prior showed nothing abnormal. Yet, at the end of the year, my wife told me, 'Your health clearly seems off lately,' so I went to my regular doctor just in case. From there, I was referred to a larger hospital, underwent tests, and although I managed to avoid immediate hospitalization, my levels were quite dangerous... Andwhat I was told right at the end of the year was
'Please refrain from eating Osechi (traditional New Year's food).'
——The sense of despair in that moment still makes my chest ache when I recall itnow.
After that, I had my first long-term hospitalization in my life.Even after being discharged, the dietary restrictions continued, and my life changed completely. Still, after a few years, I have gotten quite used to it. That said, eating out is still a bit of a hurdle.
The reason I get nervous on the days of my hospital visits is because there is a possibility of being hospitalized again depending on the test results.
Butlately, I have come to think, 'I am grateful just to be alive,' and 'I am happy that I can still eat, even with restrictions'——I have come to think that way.
And,what supports me in my daily life is the presence of my beloved dog.
Just having them by my side is healing, and when I think, 'I can't pass away before my dog,' I naturally feel like I want to live each day carefully while practicing moderation.
About the illness, the scenery I have seen from it, and the life that has changed—
I intend to write about these things here, little by little, from now on.
I would be happy if even one of these stories could offer comfort to someone's heart.