Household Finances for Children with Medical Needs

A mother of a child with medical needs shares

the story of the time she struggled most with money,
and what she wants to convey now.

Nice to meet you.
I am a housewife raising a child with intellectual disabilities and medical needs.

I am writing this for
other mothers who are caring for their children while feeling anxious about their household finances and the future.
I am not an expert or a financial planner.

I am just a mother on the front lines.
—

The pressure to 'save for tuition' was always painful.

When my child was small,

I thought just like everyone else around me.
How much money do I need for university?

I have to treat my children equally.
If I don't invest, will I have enough in the future...?
But,

while raising my child who requires medical care,
my sense of unease gradually grew.
Is the money needed for this child

really just for 'tuition'?
—

For families of children with medical needs,

'protecting' was more important than 'growing'.

I will be honest.

If the money I grew through investment

were to decrease—
if that money was for

• Medical expenses
• Future living costs
• Preparation for when the parents can no longer move
I don't think I could have endured it.

That is why I realized.

In families with children who have medical needs,

it is many times more important
not to hit a dead end than it is to grow your money.
—

Things I stopped doing

✔ The idea that 'siblings must have the same amount of money set aside'

✔ Saving for tuition based on the assumption of going to university
✔ The choice to invest everything because of anxiety
Just by stopping these,

my heart felt a little lighter.
—

What I started thinking about instead

The money for my child with medical needs is

'a lifetime security fund'
• Out-of-pocket medical and care expenses
• Costs not covered by welfare
• Money to ensure siblings aren't burdened after the parents pass away
This is

money that must not decrease.
So I

chose to 'protect' it in cash or safe forms.
—

Protecting my feelings for my other children at the same time

I want my younger children to choose the paths they want to learn.

So,
I also use investments for their tuition.

I don't think this is unfair;
I believe it is 'fairness' tailored to each of them.

—
What I want to convey as a housewife

If you are currently

• Feeling pained every time you think about money

• Blaming yourself for not being able to do the same as those around you
• Afraid to think about the future
If you feel that way,
I want to say it loudly.

You are already doing your best.
—

Finally

There isn't much information online or in books about the 'correct' way to manage finances for families with children who have medical needs.

But I think:

'It's fine if it doesn't grow, as long as you aren't in trouble.'
'A household budget that lets you sleep peacefully is the best answer.'

I would be happy if this text

could make someone's heart
feel just a little bit lighter.