No.930 The Meaning of Quietly Savoring Solitude

Do not fear solitude; make it your ally.
Stay close to that heart which feels like it might vanish due to the loneliness welling up within, and listen to its voiceless voice.

The true nature of that voice is your honest, human self, including all your weaknesses and foolishness.
For me, time spent in solitude is a blissful period where I can directly feel a sense of specialness that I cannot perceive in my everyday self, who is trying to be a proper member of society.

Because I know this sensation, I want to savor it again and again.

The concept of solitude exists because of relationships with others.
Furthermore, when there are many groups of two or more people (including family, friends, etc.) around, I feel it stand out more intensely.

However, that feeling of floating is also a state where self-dialogue is easier, and it means that understanding continues to run deep.
In other words, I perceive it as my personal axis operating stably even while it wavers.

Being in solitude allows me to observe the movements of my emotions and thoughts from a slightly detached distance, or rather, it allows me to take the distance where they are most visible.
Some people might think it is just a front,
but personally, I think I am reasonably strong.

Trusting oneself is not about conveniently looking only at the pretty things, but about acknowledging oneself, including the parts one does not want to see, and living with that patiently.

That is how I see myself now, believing that I will somehow manage to survive without sinking.