透明な心

Transparent Heart

I want to touch
your transparent heart

to be sure
it is really there

If only I had placed
a bandage on your wounds

If only I had cared
for you when you were weak

perhaps even now
you would still be by my side
smiling

Once,
I meant to show you
everything
yet I offered only
the convenient version
of myself

The end of this
dishonest, clumsy heart

was to endure
your sharp, defensive gestures
accepting them
as the only way to atone

Perhaps I gave you
none of what
you truly wanted

And still, I believe
there was
love
in it all

Now,
if I were to paint
my transparent heart,
what color would it be?

The deep red
of blood

or the dark shade
of mud-stained sorrow

or perhaps
the white, frozen hue
that comes after heavy rain
when everything
is sealed in ice

                                            Written by Soranoiro