12. The Foolish Old Man Falls for the 'Pleasure' Beast Kai's Scheme

Grandpa, let's do Pythagoras!

The 'Pleasure' Beast Kai is making a fuss again.

Lately, he's been obsessed with Pythagoras Switch videos.

Empty boxes, building blocks, toilet paper rolls,
—
he gathers all the toys and junk in the house,
and starts building some kind of grand contraption.

But strangely enough,
even though he invites me to 'do it together',
he never lets me build anything.

If I even try to lend a hand,
'That's wrong!'
he immediately scolds me.

What kind of position am I in, anyway?

Since I have no choice,
I watched from behind for a while.

Hmm...

He's actually building something quite impressive.

And this kid,
he's got the face of a craftsman.

He's more serious than any site foreman I've seen around here.

Then suddenly—,

'Pee!'

He shouted that,
and ran off to the bathroom.

He only just recently got out of diapers, after all.

'Hurry up, don't wet yourself!'

As a grandfather,
I offer a truly thoughtful remark.

And then—

Hmph!

While I have this chance,
I'll tinker with it just a little.

No, no,
I don't intend to break it.

It's just a whim.

Around here,
just a little bit—

And while I'm at it, this part too.

...Ho ho!!

And then,
I sat back down with an innocent face.

Now then,
I wonder if he'll notice.

Before long, he returned.

And the moment he saw the device,
he froze completely.

"Ah!"
"It's broken!"

Huh?

...He can tell that much?

I panicked a little.

"W-well... the wind blew,
—
the curtain hit it.
Look, see for yourself."

Even though no one was asking,
my excuses suddenly became quite wordy.

It's enough to make me break into a cold sweat.

He is
staring right at me.
Without a doubt, it's the look of someone spotting the culprit,
yes,
it's the eyes of Conan-kun.

This is bad.

One shouldn't instill unnecessary wisdom
into a child's mind.

I cleared my throat lightly and said,

Shall we make something together with Grandpa again?

Then he,
No way!
shouted that,
threw his whole body at me,
and pushed me away from the device.

This is...
I'm completely banned.

Since I had no choice,
I made my final offer.

How about we go buy some sweets?

The Kaiju thought for a moment—,
and answered in a low voice.

...Baskin-Robbins.

It seems,
I was forgiven with that this time.

Hmm?
Is this—,
did he set me up?

Oh!?
Over there, my partner and daughter are
smirking and saying, 'Thanks for the treat.'

For four people, huh—.
I slowly opened my wallet,
and with round eyes,
sent an eye contact signal to my partner.

Can't we cover this from the household budget?

=========================
The 'Foolish Old Man' also occasionally here appears
(it's a different note).
=========================

★★ The following is an AI review ★★
The evaluation may contain
favoritism or bias toward me.
I think it would be effective to compare it
with your own impressions and evaluations.
*Revised once
P.N. Shiku Juzo
★★ The following is an AI review ★★

This is quite high in quality.
While wearing the skin of a 'daily essay with a grandchild,' it actually contains

* Character drama
* Conversational comedy
* Generational reversal
* 'Defeat' punchline
* A siege by the whole family

all in one.

Moreover, the fact that it 'shows without explaining' is strong.From a professional editor's perspective,

**It hits the 'sweet spots for writing that gets read on note' quite well.**

To summarize the particularly excellent points—.

---

# General Review

**★★★★☆ (4.6/5)**

It is quite a compelling read.
The pacing is good from start to finish, making it easy for the reader to visualize the scenes.

Especially in the latter half,

> "...Thirty-one"

This part is very good.

It is a strong type of dialogue where "a single word completes the scene."

The reader can instantly understand,

"Ah, the old man lost."

This is understood instantly.

And then, at the end,

> Four servings, huh--.

This serves as the final blow.

The structure is elegant.

---

# Particularly Excellent Points

## 1. The character of the 'Pleasure' Beast, Kai, is well-defined

This is a strong asset for a series.

Not just a mere 'grandson',

> 'Pleasure' beast Kai

by naming him this,

* A sense of being out of control
* Charm
* Unpredictability

are conveyed instantly.

Moreover,

> He has the face of a craftsman.

and with this,
'He is not just noisy'
a sense of depth to his personality is also brought out.

This is skillful.

Readers get bored with just 'typical kid stuff'.

However, in this work,
because Kai has a 'craftsman spirit',
he is seen as a person.

That is why it is readable.

---

# ② The 'naughty kid' transformation of the old warrior side is excellent

In this work, the protagonist is actually not Kai.

It is the 'old man'.

Especially here.

> While he's distracted,
> I'll mess with him a little bit.

and the flow from there.

He is completely an elementary school boy.

In other words,

* The grandchild is a child
* The grandfather is also a child

It has become a 'clash of mental ages'.

That is why it is interesting.

Furthermore,

> The wind was blowing, you see.

The unsightly excuses that follow.

This is extremely realistic.

Humans,
the moment they are found out,
suddenly become talkative.

This power of observation is excellent.

---

# 3. Making the reader laugh through 'pauses' rather than 'explanations'

This is a very strong point in terms of writing ability.

For example,

> ...You can tell that much?

This 'pause'.

It is not an explanation,
but rather creates a lingering effect in the reader's mind.

Also,

> Even though no one is listening,
> the excuses suddenly become verbose.

This is also good.

Even though it's a psychological description,
it doesn't slow down the tempo.

It's quite well-suited for note.

---

# ④ The final structure is clean

The final part is actually quite calculated.

If you organize the flow,

1. Mischief
2. Discovery
3. Interrogation
4. Ban
5. Bribery proposal
6. Baskin Robbins demand
7. The whole family is in on it theory
8. Wallet defeat

It forms a
clean 'downfall structure'.

Moreover, it ends with,

> Can't we manage this from the household budget?

That's how it ends.

This is good.

By ending with
a 'defeated old man',
the aftertaste is gentle.

If it ended here with,

> What a crafty pleasure beast

it would just be
a normal parenting essay.

However, in this work,
the 'grandpa is weak' until the very end.

That's why it has flavor.

---

# Points that would improve it further

It is quite polished, but
from a professional perspective,
trimming just a little more will make it even stronger.

---

## 1. The explanation of the 'Pitagora' is a bit long

Right here.

> Empty boxes, building blocks, toilet paper rolls,
> vacuum cleaner nozzle brushes—

This is a good description, but
the list is a bit long, and
the tempo stops for a moment.

For example,

> Empty boxes, building blocks,
> toilet paper rolls—
> gathering all the junk in the house,

would also work.

While the 'vacuum cleaner nozzle brush' is visually interesting, it
carries a bit too much information.

---

## 2. 'Ho! The chance has arrived' is a bit explanatory

At this point,
the reader has already guessed, 'Oh, he's up to something?'

Therefore,

> And then—
>
> Ho.

would be enough.

In fact,
it is more interesting to let the reader imagine the 'old man's wicked face'.

---

## 3. 'Eyes filled with skepticism' is a bit stiff

The texture of the vocabulary changes slightly only here.

Since the context is comical,
it would be more consistent if it were more casual.

For example,

> Completely,
> 'There's a culprit here, isn't there?'
> is what those eyes say.

Even something like that
would fit the world-building.

---

# The true strength of this work

The essence of this work
is not 'my grandchild is cute'.

Actually,

> 'A reversal of the family hierarchy'

is what it is.

* Kai as the site supervisor
* The old warrior as the subcontractor
* The wife and daughter as the sponsors

is the structure it has.

That is why
it is more interesting than a simple childcare diary.

It is because it serves as a microcosm of social structure.

This is a very strong point for the series.

---

# How does it look in the note market?

It can compete quite well.

Especially for,

* People in their 50s and up
* Those who have finished raising children
* Those with grandchildren
* Tired office workers

pierces through.

The reason is that
a 'defeated old man' works well as a charming character.

There is zero preachiness.

This is a big factor.

---

# A word from the editor

For this series, it is better
not to force it into a 'heartwarming story'.

What was good this time was

* The old man is cunning
* He gets caught
* He loses
* He pays the money

which was
a very human flow.

If you start adding strange sentimentality here,
it will instantly become mediocre.

Rather,

'The old warrior is defeated every time'

should be made into a series stylistic beauty,
as it will become a brand.

=========================
Thank you for reading this far.
I would be very happy if many people can relate to this.
If you like, please press Follow or ♡, as it encourages me.
Please join me again next time.
=========================
※ I also distribute the following as a hobby
▶ For those who recommend RC housing
this YouTube channel
▶ For those aiming to become a Building Construction Management Engineer
this YouTube this note
▶ For those aiming to become a Civil Engineering Construction Management Engineer
this YouTube this note
▶ For those sharing information as a construction professional
this note
▶ For those introducing my books
this publisher
▶ For e-books
・13 Behind-the-Scenes Facts That Builders Won't Tell You
・21 Episodes Leading to RC Housing
・RC Housing at the Same Price as Wood Construction
・13 Essential Considerations for Choosing a Home