I value tenacity
If I were to list my own characteristics.
I think "tenacity" would rank in the top five.
It's a refusal to give up, or perhaps an inability to let things go.
No matter how many times I've thought, "This might be the end," I keep doing what I want to do.
I thought about what makes me feel this way.
1. Dodgeball in elementary school
Have you ever seen competitive dodgeball?
There are people specialized in attacking and people specialized in defending. I was exclusively in the line like the people in the middle of the photo, trying my best not to get hit.
Here is the point: when I was in elementary school, I was only 140cm tall.
I was a head shorter than everyone else.
And I probably looked weak, so I was targeted like crazy.
But if I crouched down, the ratio of face to body area became 1:1.
According to the rules of dodgeball, getting hit in the face is safe, but
it is overwhelminglypainfulif you get hit in the face!!!!
I would often end up crying when everyone asked, "Are you okay?" after I had somehow endured the pain. (I'm not sure if it was because I let my guard down or because I was embarrassed.)
That was the background information (long laugh).
If I got hit in the face, I would keep playing even if it hurt.
Since this happened quite often, not just once or twice, continuing even when it hurt became second nature to me.
This experience is significant to me, and I feel that no matter how much I fail, or how much physical or mental pain I experience, it won't cause me to give up on something.
2. Letters from my parents
Looking back, I realize I was raised with care.
No matter how much I was scolded, there would be a letter from my parents by my pillow when I woke up in the morning.
No matter what I was being scolded for, it would start with "I'm sorry."
Because they scolded me too much.
Why they scolded me so much.
And at the end, "Thank you for being here."
This was also back in elementary school, but they told me "thank you" for "being there" rather than for "what I did."
No matter how much I was scolded, I wouldn't be hated. I felt certain that I would be okay.
I feel that having my existence completely affirmed has helped shape who I am today.
Summary
My tenacity is indeed built on everything I've experienced so far, and I want to be proud of it. There are still more episodes that have shaped my tenacity.
I don't want to forget it, no matter how old I get.