Decluttering Love: 5 Steps to Organize Memories of Your Ex
Do you ever find your heart aching when you suddenly remember an ex? By the time you reach your thirties, the baggage of past relationships tends to pile up in the closet of your heart. LINE chat histories, photos, memories of cafes you visited together... But in 2025, why not try a little 'love decluttering' to move forward as a new you? Here are five steps you can take even while walking through the streets of the Kanto region. Let's lighten your heart and start preparing to take the next step in love!
5 Steps
Step 1: Take an 'Inventory' of Your Memories
First, list the 'things,' 'digital data,' and 'emotions' related to your ex. Write everything down, from physical items (gifts, photos, letters) to data on your smartphone (LINE, SNS DMs, notes), and the emotions that remain in your heart (regret, lingering attachment, gratitude).
Practical Tips
Use a notebook or a note app on your phone and write down whatever comes to mind within 30 minutes.
Example: 'The scarf my ex gave me,' 'The goodnight sticker on LINE,' 'The frustration from the day we broke up.'
Point for those in their 30s: Since you are busy with work and life, it is recommended to do this in a short time while drinking coffee at a cafe. If you are in Kanto, secure some 'me time' at a quiet cafe in Shibuya or Kichijoji.
Empathy factor: 'When you write it all down, there's a moment where you realize, "Wow, I was really hung up on this." That's the first step!'
Step 2: Decide to Declutter Physical Items
Sort physical mementos into 'keep' and 'let go.' Only keep items that will have a positive impact on your future self. For items you let go of, dispose of them through recycling, donation, or with a sense of gratitude.
Practical Tips
Criteria example: 'This necklace was a gift from my ex, but it's still cute, so I'll keep it,' 'Looking back at the photo booth pictures we took together is painful, so I'll get rid of them.'
If you are in Kanto, it's easy to sell them at Book Off or Treasure Factory, or give them away on Jimoty.
Point for those in their 30s: People in their 30s tend to panic, thinking, "I'm not young anymore," but try to view letting go of things as creating 'space for new encounters.'
Empathy factor: 'You might feel like crying when you let go, but you can be proud of yourself for not being tied down to a finished relationship.'
Step 3: Reset Your Heart by Organizing Digital Data
Organize the digital data remaining on your smartphone or PC. Check your LINE chat history, photos, and SNS follow status, and delete what you don't need. If you keep them, isolate them in a 'do not look' folder.
Practical Tips
Back up your LINE chat history before deleting. Do it when you are calm so you won't regret it later.
If you are still following your ex on Instagram or X, consider muting or unfollowing them.
Example: 'Move photos taken during our Kamakura trip to a hidden folder on Google Drive.'
Tip for those around 30: People in their 30s in the Kanto region tend to be highly dependent on social media. You will feel refreshed if you focus on finishing your digital cleanup on a weekend morning.
Relatable point: 'That photo I keep scrolling back to see—deleting it really clears up some mental storage space.'
Step 4: Decluttering emotions with mindfulness
Use mindfulness or journaling to let go of feelings like lingering attachment or regret. Write down what you learned from the past relationship and your gratitude, then wrap it up with a positive perspective.
Practical tips
Journaling example: 'What I learned from that relationship: To value my own worth.' 'Gratitude: The moments I was able to smile during the time we spent together.'
Calm your emotions with a 5-minute meditation (apps like 'Calm' or guided meditations on YouTube are convenient).
Tip for those around 30: Your 30s is a time when you prioritize personal growth. Organizing your emotions is an investment in 'not repeating the same mistakes in your next relationship.'
Relatable point: 'When I wrote down my regrets, I was surprised to find myself praising myself, thinking, "I really tried my best back then."'
Step 5: Small actions to take a new step forward
As a conclusion to your decluttering, take a small action toward your future self. Start a new hobby, go out with friends, or enjoy 'me time' outside of romance.
Practical tips
Example: 'After decluttering, I signed up for a yoga class I had been interested in for a long time.' 'Going cafe-hopping with friends in Omotesando.'
If you are in the Kanto region, taking a relaxing walk in Yoyogi Park or attending an event in Shinjuku can also be a great change of pace.
Tip for those around 30: People in their 30s tend to feel pressure regarding marriage and their careers. Strengthening your 'own axis' outside of romance creates emotional breathing room.
Relatable point: 'Taking a new step, even if it's small at first, feels kind of exciting, doesn't it? I feel like I can be more myself in my next relationship!'
Summary
Decluttering love isn't about denying the past, but about making space for your future self. Try these 5 steps in your busy daily life now that you're in your 30s. You will surely find a moment on a street corner in Kanto where you suddenly notice a new you.