The reason your parenting isn't going well might be a 'fixed idea'

90% of moms struggling with parenting
are trapped by a certain 'fixed idea'.

You might not notice it, but
it could actually be the reason why parenting feels so difficult.

To those of you wondering, 'Why isn't my parenting going well?'...

The true nature of that unease...
is actually not because you are failing,
but might lie in a small 'fixed idea'.

In this article,
for moms who blame themselves,
thinking 'I have to do this properly'
or 'I have to be a good mother',
I will provide tips to help you relax your heart.

'Parenting should be more fun...'

Even though you think that in your head,
the reality is a hectic daily life.
Feeling frustrated or hating yourself...

Actually, that 'heaviness'
is sometimes caused by fixed ideas you hold without even realizing it.

There are two types of fixed ideas

Broadly speaking, there are two types of fixed ideas.

• Fixed ideas that lighten the heart
  'My child will surely grow,' 'I am fine as I am,' etc.

• Fixed ideas that make the heart suffer
  'I must be a proper mother,' 'They won't understand unless I scold them,' etc.

The latter, in particular, tends to corner you.
For example, don't you have fixed ideas like these?

• 'If I don't speak strictly, my child won't change.'

• 'I have to become a proper mother.'

• 'If I don't educate them early, they will have trouble in the future.'

• 'The right way is to raise them by praising them, right?'

They all look 'correct,' but
if they are making you tired,
it might be okay to let them go.

I, too, suffered from 'I have to do this properly'

Until halfway through my own parenting journey,
'I have to do this properly!' was my catchphrase.
So,
whenever things didn't go well, I would just blame myself and feel down.

But then, I suddenly realized something.
'Trying so hard that parenting feels painful... that might be a bit strange.'

From there, little by little,
'Well, that's fine,'
'This is enough for today,'
I tried to ease up on the pressure.

Then, strangely enough, the number of times I felt frustrated decreased,
and the time I spent laughing with my child increased.

A 'good enough' attitude is just right

Parenting isn't about 'getting a perfect score.'
A slightly relaxed, 'good enough' attitudeis just right.

The more serious and hardworking a mom is,
the more she tends to think, 'I have to do better.'

But I want to tell you, especially if that's you:

• 'It's okay to look the other way sometimes.'

• 'Try taking a deep breath before saying, "That's not allowed!"'

• 'Let's tell ourselves, "You did a great job today, too."'

It's okay. You are already doing enough.

When you feel like parenting isn't going well,
there may be 'assumptions' hidden in the background.

If you are tied down by 'I should do this,'
please try to gently let go.

Just by being able to think, 'Well, that's fine,'
both your parenting and your heart will feel much lighter.

Summary

• The reason parenting isn't going well might be 'assumptions'

• If 'I should' is making you suffer, it's okay to let it go

• Thinking 'Well, that's fine' can make things easier for both parent and child

• For serious moms, a 'good enough' attitude is just right

In closing

It is precisely for the hardworking mother
that 'effortless parenting' is necessary.

What is important is not being perfect, but
a warm gaze watching over your child♡

With that gaze of yours,
your child will surely grow at their own pace.

– * – * – * –
What you want to do next is at your own pace...

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