Perhaps I wasn't actually incapable after all 🔥3

A single-digit score for the first time in my life, 9 points—
The moment my math test was returned, it felt like I had been struck in the head.

“Huh?”

For a moment, I didn't understand what had happened.

When I was in high school, I was completely incapable of studying.
Because I couldn't do it, it became even less interesting, and trouble followed both at home and at school; honestly, I had almost no motivation to study.

─────

I would borrow notes from friends to somehow get by in case I was called on in class.

Even when I tried my hardest, my test scores were always just enough to avoid failing.

As I moved up in grade, I finally started failing one subject, then two, and the opportunities to receive notices increased.

Since the failing line was “half of the average score,” I often managed to just barely avoid it.
However, one time, I hit a unit I truly couldn't understand.

I didn't understand it at all, so I gave up halfway through.

When I steeled myself and took the test, the result I got back was exactly what I expected.

I had scored a 9 (out of 100) in math, a single-digit score for the first time in my life.

Even though I wasn't good at studying, it was the first time I had ever gotten a single digit.
I was so shocked I couldn't speak.

Moreover, the average score was around 50.
No matter how you looked at it, there was no excuse; it was an undeniable failure.

─────

As everything went dark before my eyes, I remembered how the make-up exam system worked.

If you fail, you have to keep taking make-up exams until you get at least a 70.
It wouldn't end until the next periodic test.

“How many make-up marks will it take before this ends...” I felt completely lost.

But no matter how much I lamented, the make-up exams wouldn't end.
That was when I finally pulled myself together.

Every day, I asked the teacher about the parts I didn't understand and solved problems.
Over and over, until I understood, without giving up.

“I have to get a 70 no matter what. I have to finish these make-up exams before the next test.”

Thinking that, I studied seriously for the first time.

Home life is tough.
Relationships are painful.
I don't have the motivation.
It's a hassle.
I don't understand.
It's difficult.

I'm sure I had been running away with many excuses until now.

But that one time was different.
I did it for real.
I faced it for real.
I had no choice but to face it.

─────

After studying for a week, I took the make-up exam.

And the result was 95 points.

I was happy.

─────

The teacher said to me,

“If you can do it, you should have gotten this score from the start.”

I laughed it off with a “hehe,” but deep down I thought,

“I really thought I couldn't do it, but if I try, I can.”

─────

I kept the test result from my mother.

However, I had completely forgotten that the test score would be recorded on my report card.

On the report card, below the grade “3,” the number “9” was written in red.

Oh no.

I asked the teacher to write the 95 from the make-up exam, but he wouldn't.
I gave up and showed the report card to my mother.

The moment my mother looked at the report card and saw the “9” written in red, she involuntarily screamed.

“What is this red number! Is it a 10-point scale?”

When I reluctantly answered that it was my test score, her voice trembled even more.

“I've never seen a score like this...!”

She said, holding her head.

I tried telling her that I had gotten a 95 on the make-up exam.
However, my mother had a look on her face as if to say, “You should have gotten that from the start.”

I was a little disappointed.
But I was aware that the score had been terrible.
I didn't say anything more.

─────

After that, I didn't study particularly hard.

With my grades remaining low,
I ended up going to a junior college I could get into without any trouble.
It wasn't a major turning point in my life.

Just a little bit,
maybe there are some things I can do if I try,
that's what I thought.

The me back then,
maybe I wasn't “incapable,”
I just “didn't do it.”

──────────
🫧The me in this form

▶ To the next event (The day I learned to try even when things are bad)

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