Is it strange to write on note every day? ──My true feelings on day 107
I suddenly thought.
I am writing on note every day.
At first I said "74 days," but
to be precise—
today is day 107.
It's not one article a day.
Two articles, three articles.
Sometimes even more.
And today, I reached 5,000 likes.
I was happy.
But, I suddenly thought.
"Is it strange to write on note every day?"
Actually, I have been "bad at writing" since a long time ago.
Since I was little, my handwriting was poor.
No matter how carefully I wrote,
my notebook was messy.
My teacher would tell me,
"Write more carefully."
But,
I didn't know how to be more careful.
My drawing was also hopelessly bad.
Things that the kids around me drew normally,
I just couldn't draw no matter what.
Thinking about it now,
I think this was also one of the traits of my ADHD.
But back then, I didn't realize it.
It's just that,
"I'm clumsy."
"I'm not trying hard enough."
That's what I used to think.
If it were handwritten, I surely wouldn't be writing even now.
I'll be honest.
If note were a handwritten culture,
I wouldn't have written this much.
It definitely wouldn't have lasted.
I could write because of the keyboard.
I could write because of the smartphone.
I could turn the words that popped into my head
directly into text.
That's why now,
I've been writing for 107 days straight.
And now, I write 2 to 3 articles every day.
Honestly, I think so myself.
"Compared to the old me, this is abnormal."
I had bad handwriting,
I was bad at writing,
and I hated writing, but
now I write every day.
And what's more, it's fun.
But people around me have said,
"Writing that much, isn't that strange?"
Normal people don't write every day.
Most people don't even write once a week.
There are also many people who don't even write once a month.
In the midst of that,
I write two to three articles every day.
Is this strange?
It stung a little in my heart.
But, I realized
People who are serious
are always called 'strange'.
People who work out every day → strange
People who study every day → strange
People who write every day → strange
But that is—
proof of being serious.
I have been writing every day for 107 days
Not for evaluation.
Not for followers either.
Not for money either.
Simply,
I wrote because I wanted to write.
I was happy that the me who couldn't write in the past
is now able to write.
To be honest
When I was told I was "strange,"
it wasn't that I felt nothing.
I was shaken, just a little.
But even so, I kept writing.
Not by someone else's standards,
but by my own impulse.
Now, I can say it clearly:
Perhaps I am not normal.
A 51-year-old writing 2-3 articles every day.
Surely, I am
a person on the "strange side."
But—
It's okay to be strange.
In fact,
if you are living earnestly,
being a little strange is just right.
To those who are struggling in the same way
If you, too,
are thinking, "Is it strange to do this every day?"
or "Am I being seen as weird by those around me?"
If you are thinking that,
it's okay.
You are not strange.
You are just being earnest.
My true feelings on day 107
I won't worry about the noise around me.
Quietly,
but surely,
I walk my own path.
I, who had poor handwriting,
I, who couldn't write,
am now writing every day.
That alone,
I think is enough.
It's okay if it's strange.
Because this,
is how I live my life now.
kazuhide_journey
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