Complexes can turn into kindness.

Good morning.

This may be sudden, but do you have any "complexes"?

Actually, ever since I was in junior high school, I have had a strong complex about my hair.

Back then, there were no convenient things like hair straightening treatments like there are now.

Rather than just wavy, it was more like "frizzy" hair.

During gym class, every time I saw my classmates' straight, silky hair fluttering refreshingly as they ran, I would think from the bottom of my heart, "I wish I had that..."

Then one day, a classmate said to me lightly,

"You're lucky you have naturally curly hair (so you don't have to style it)!"

At that moment, a mix of anger and sadness welled up deep inside my chest.

(You don't know how I feel, so don't say that...!)

Even though I knew they didn't mean any harm, there was a pain and misery that only the person experiencing it could understand.

For me at the time, that hair was just a complex, like a "curse" that I desperately wanted to hide.

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But now that I am an adult, I sometimes think about something.

Perhaps, thanks to that painful complex, I have become a little more capable of understanding "people's pain."

Because I know "how much a casual remark can hurt someone," I have had more opportunities to think about things from the other person's perspective.

When I encounter someone's worries or weaknesses, I no longer dismiss them easily, but have become able to stand by them, thinking, "They might have their own struggles that they can't talk about."

I can now think that the time I spent facing my complex was essential for my growth as a human being.

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You don't need to "learn to love" your complex.

Because trying to force yourself to like them only makes things more painful.

Instead, try reframing it by thinking, "There is a kindness and depth I have gained precisely because I had this struggle."

I think that might be the best way to get along with your complexes.

If there is anyone out there right now struggling with parts of themselves they dislike—

That struggle might one day become a treasure that makes you a "kind person who understands the pain of others."

Thank you for reading until the end today as well.