Nice to meet you (Self-introduction)

Do you think that you cannot be happy unless you love yourself?

I used to think so too. I learned about finding myself and loving myself, and I tried desperately, but I just ended up going around in circles in a maze. I managed to break free from that, and now I have a comfortable and happy life.

Life is a one-time experience, and it belongs only to you. It is also a "project" that you walk through together with others. I am Mayumi Taniwaki, and I act as a manager—helping those who wish to "live a happy life" that isn't just a facade, both in their work and private lives, to reach that point.

The thoughts and triggers behind starting this NOTE

I also write on other media (blogs). However, I want to write about my honest thoughts and emotions here, stepping a bit deeper than I do there. And I hope that this can serve as a trigger for someone to change their perspective or take action, moving from a monotonous daily life to one filled with color.

In my childhood,

I grew up with a father who committed domestic violence and a mother who was overly intrusive. From the time I could understand things, I was always terrified of my father's every move, and I spent my time trying to "comfort" my mother.
Whenever something fun happened, it would be immediately ruined by my father, so before I knew it, I had developed a heart that didn't feel emotions (whether fun, sad, joy, or anger). I remember trying to fit in with others and pretending to laugh.

In my adolescence,

It was like a raging storm. As if to suggest that "you can't live without emotions," various events happened around me. And the emotion that finally emerged was "anger." I was in a state that felt like a typical "rebellious phase," where I was furious at my family, school, and the world every single day.

I finally escaped from the prison of my college-prep high school and was able to fully enjoy my "college days," which felt like a spring break for my life, participating in clubs, working part-time jobs, and even studying a little. I finally had experiences and met friends that made me feel "fun" and "fulfilled" from the bottom of my heart, and I was able to think, "It's okay to enjoy life."

After getting a job,

I joined the IT industry. I was unexpectedly assigned to the sales department! I was originally a person who disliked others, so I wondered what to do, but I was told, "You should just do it as yourself." When I practiced sincere sales, I was able to achieve results that led to business with major companies. Perhaps I was a "corporate warrior" during this time. I spent every day desperately working overtime, creating program proposals, making estimates, and making sales calls, and I enjoyed closing contracts.
But above all, it wasn't a "pretentious" relationship; I was able to face customers head-on as my true, unvarnished self. And the fact that I could be useful to the company gave me confidence in living.

I got married and gave birth,

but my child became ill, so I resigned. I was surprised at how easily I could decide, "Oh, no matter how hard I work and achieve results at a company, there is always a substitute. But for this child, I am the only mother." I guess I have a personality that doesn't get attached easily.

So, I thought I would raise my child in harmony, but I couldn't live on just raising a child. I started a business from home. At first, it was data entry for a few yen per sheet, but I received many requests, and I was even able to do things like program development, earning a grateful amount of money.

Around that time, I fell into mild postpartum depression.

I started wanting to talk to people, so I attended assertive training sessions. For the first time, I was able to put my thoughts and the friction with my father into words.

One night around that time, I cried uncontrollably. I thought, "How painful it must have been for my father." I had my husband, mom friends, and assertive training companions, and I could raise my child, but my father had become hard of hearing due to an accident at work, was taken off the promotion track, and without a father figure of his own (he lost his own father when he was young), I thought about how much he must have suffered while working to put me through college, and I felt an unbearable love for him. I cried all night in bed while holding my second daughter.
From that time on, although we were living apart, my relationship with my father began to improve.

I started thinking, "I want to do a job that involves interacting with people!"

When I took action, I was assigned to a job setting up a computer school. I enjoyed the work of creating things from scratch with my colleagues, such as lesson plans, instructor training, and manual creation. The part of me that loves work had come out again.

Then, while working as a part-time university lecturer, I encountered coaching.
I realized that coaching is not just a conversation, but something that can expand possibilities! Wanting to be of help to students, I became absorbed in learning it and obtained my certification. I myself was also reborn, as if my mind and body had been washed clean. I transitioned from a life of 'judging others and confronting society' to a life of 'seeing and drawing out the beauty in people, and living in harmony with others and society.'

And so, I became independent as a professional coach.

Those who want to make what they want to do—their true passion—their career often say, 'I want to earn an income doing such-and-such' or 'I should be able to succeed doing such-and-such.'
However, to be honest, only a handful of people are able to realize that.
I have realized that those who can are the ones who move beyond 'finding themselves' or 'loving themselves' and are able to construct 'the project called life' from a new perspective.

First, let's reconstruct the project that is your life!

I help those who want to realize a 'happy life' by reviewing and reconstructing their past and future from a higher perspective, so they can 'become the manager of their own life.'

My greatest joy is the moment when those who want to transform their conventional perspectives of themselves and others, and who seriously want to achieve their goals, reach that point and break into a beaming smile.