[Leukemia Survivor] Four Stages of Realizing I Was Ill

After the new year began, while I was spending my days fully occupied with business trips and client visits,
I was living a fulfilling life.

First,

Stage 1: "Loss of appetite"

set in.

I felt like, perhaps due to my age,
I couldn't recover from fatigue,
and every day, I didn't have much of an appetite.

Next,

Stage 2: "I lost 10kg in one month"

My weight, which had been over 80kg,
dropped to 70kg in the blink of an eye,
(by the time I was hospitalized, it was around 65kg).

At that point,

"This is a bit strange"

I thought, and went to a nearby general hospital.

The first general internal medicine doctor said,
"Hmm, losing 10kg in a month is a bit strange. Shall we have a specialist in internal medicine examine you?"

So, at a later date,
I was examined again by a second specialist in internal medicine.
As a result of the blood tests and examination,

"It's not COVID, it's a viral infection"

was the diagnosis.

"I got my medicine, so I can rest easy"

was not the case.I mean,

I am truly grateful, but
at this point,
the first general internal medicine doctor

"Something is definitely a bit off. Why don't you go to a larger hospital to get checked out? I'll give you a referral letter when you come in next time."

The fact that he made that suggestion
is probably what saved my life,
and I think it was my "first stroke of luck."

Stage 3: When I wake up in the morning, I am clearly more exhausted than yesterday

It is often said, but

Healthy people feel better after sleeping and waking up.
Sick people feel worse after sleeping and waking up than they did yesterday.

That was exactly the state I was in.

Even during that time, I was still visiting clients,

Stage 4: You can no longer climb the same stairs you climbed last week.

The stairs I could climb normally two weeks ago,
I was slightly out of breath on last week,
and this week, I had to take a break at the landing halfway up,

it became increasingly difficult, and
on the way back from a client,
even going down the stairs had become painful.

On my way home, I contacted my wife:

"Something is wrong with my body, so please call the hospital and
get the referral letter today that I was supposed to receive at my next visit."

I sent that message.

By the time I arrived at the station nearest my home,
I was in quite a lot of pain, so

I contacted my wife again:

"I'm heading home now, so please call an ambulance.
Did you get the referral letter?"

I sent that message.

In the parking lot in front of my apartment building,
I got into the waiting ambulance,
still in my suit, carrying only my work backpack,
and went straight to the city hospital.

The ride in an ambulance is terrible, isn't it?

It's bumpy and exhausting.

"I can't understand the situation at all,
what is going on?"

I thought to myself,
as I arrived at the hospital.

Inside the emergency ward,
once I had calmed down a little,
my attending physician said to me,

"I'm glad you came in today.
If you had been three weeks later,
you wouldn't have been able to see this year's cherry blossoms."

Those were the words I was told.

Huh? Was I in such a dangerous situation?

From here, my hospital life,

and my life living with leukemia,

and my life living with GVHD (a kind of aftereffect),

began.

Everyone, don't push yourselves,

if you feel even a little bit

that something is "wrong",

please go to the hospital.
If there's nothing wrong, that's fine,

but if there is something, just a few days
could potentially mean it's too late...

If today were the last day of your life,
what would you do?
If you only had half a year to live,
what would you do?
If you could go to heaven,
what would you want to take with you?
In your life,
what do you want to leave behind?