Thank yous are falling #ShirokumaLiteratureClub
Thank yous are falling. Tsukiko smiles as she gazes at the rain.
"Nightly Consultation Room" is an online counseling service. The fee is 100 yen per email, no matter how short or long it is. Some people exchange messages many times, while others use it only once. There is also a flat monthly rate of 1000 yen. It is run by Sayoko Hoshino. As you might have guessed, given these rates, it is practically volunteer work.
"Some people find it hard to use if it's free."
The fee was set out of consideration by Sayoko. Since there is a limit to what Sayoko can handle on her own, the income barely covers the cost of her McAfee subscription. Be that as it may, after this and that happened, Tsukiko began helping Sayoko about three months ago.
The first person she was in charge of was a 21-year-old woman. She had been abused by her mother since she was a child and was deeply wounded. The consultation emails were filled with "I'm sorry" written over and over again. She seemed to believe that everything—being alive, having no money, and things not going well despite her best efforts—was her own fault. Every time she repeated "I'm sorry," there was a glimpse of a feeling that she was whittling away at her own heart to become someone new. Tsukiko felt very sad. The sadness of the girl, who was trying to fill the time that should be her brightest with "I'm sorry," quietly enveloped Tsukiko.
They exchanged messages many times a day. Sometimes more than 10 emails went back and forth. Tsukiko kept receiving "I'm sorry." Instead of writing "You don't have to apologize," she sent "It's okay" many times.
Then, about two weeks later, something so wonderful happened that Tsukiko had to pinch her own cheek. People around her in the real world began to reach out one after another, and in the blink of an eye, as if by a miracle, her dreams began to come true. It was so surreal that Tsukiko even wondered if she had been bewitched by a fox or if the girl had been a plant. And so, the consultation ended.
Or so it should have, but it was just last week. Suddenly, another consultation email arrived. Tsukiko opened the email with trepidation, her heart pounding, wondering what had happened.
Tsukiko-san, it's been a while.
I spend my days saying thank you to all sorts of people.
Every time I say thank you,
my heart warms up.
Saying thank you is wonderful.
I realized something.
I should have been saying thank you
instead of I'm sorry.
I am sending many thank yous to you, too, Tsukiko-san.
When it rains, that is a thank you from me.
When the wind blows, that is a thank you from me.
Tsukiko thought she would never forget this message for the rest of her life.
At the same time, Tsukiko knew. She knew the girl would continue to carry suffering with her. Even so, she would surely realize it eventually. That she could stand on her own two feet, not by her mother's strength, but by her own.
And surely, one day, the girl would forget about Tsukiko, with whom she had touched lives for only a brief period. And that is fine. Even if she forgets, whenever it rains or the wind blows, Tsukiko will continue to receive her thank yous. That is fine. If she forgets, that is fine.
🎄
Manager Komaki, thank you for this week as well.
I almost forgot.
I'm glad I remembered.