A Local Home for My Son | Dad's Parenting | Parenting Diary |
It has been a year and a half since I moved to my wife's hometown.
At first, I was a little surprised by the color of the winter sky.
The strength of the wind and the way the rain fell were different from the place where I grew up.
The fish lined up at the supermarket are different, and the seasonings on the dinner table are different, too.
Even just going to a convenience store, I didn't know where anything was, so I was always looking at the map on my smartphone.
That has changed quite a bit now.
I've learned the streets of the town, and I've naturally come to understand things like, 'This place gets crowded at this time,' or,
'This shop has a better selection if you go in the evening,'
and things like that.
Before I knew it, I had started to mix in some of my wife's dialect as well.
Every time I go back to my parents' home, my mother laughs and says, 'Your way of speaking has changed a little.'
I'm not conscious of it at all.
But apparently, phrases I never used in the past are coming out of my mouth naturally.
Every time that happens, I feel a little strange.
It makes me realize that people change little by little to match the place where they live.
I feel like the old me would have hadmore resistance to changethan I do now.
I was trying to protect my 'true self,' or perhaps I was avoiding being influenced by my environment.
But now, I'm not so tense about it.
Maybe becoming a father has a lot to do with it.
Rather than how I am perceived, it has become more important thatthings run smoothly at homethan anything else.
The order of supermarkets where I can move efficiently, or the time my wife and I spend talking for a little while after putting our child to sleep—my focus has shifted to thosesmall aspects of daily life.
Of course, there is still a lot I don't know.
There are shops that only the locals know about, and there are times when I think, 'I see,' about the unique culture here.
But strangely, I don't feel like an outsider as much as I used to.
More than that, my son's presence has become more significant lately.
This land, which had no connection to me, is, I think,
a landscape that has been a natural part of my son's life since he was born.
He will grow up breathing the air of this town,
and listening to the language of this town.
Even if it is a "place I moved to" for me, for my son, it has been his hometown from the very beginning.
When I realized that, my perspective changed a little.
I used to think that moving was about "whether I could fit in."
But now, "whether my family can live comfortably" has become much more important.
When I was younger, my criteria for choosing a place were more self-centered.
Work.
Convenience.
Stimulation.
Connections.
Of course, I still think those things are important.
However, since my child was born, where we live has become closer to
who we spend our time with and what kind of moments we build together.
When I walk around the neighborhood holding my son, there are times when I think that we are the ones creating what is "normal" for him.
I believe that is a time that only exists right now.
As a father, I still have many doubts.
There are plenty of days when I wonder if I'm doing the right thing.
But, while living life without being perfect, I am gradually getting used to the land, my family, and myself.
I feel like that is what the last year and six months have been like.
Past articles regarding moving are below ↓
※Please forgive the difference in tone as these are old articles lol
#LifeAfterMoving
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