Why Those Who 'Put Themselves Last' Are Happier: The 'Secret to a Balanced Life' According to Laozi
On a night when my heart felt weary, Laozi's words gently lit a lamp.
When life isn't going well, we tend to push ourselves, thinking, 'I have to try harder.'
But Laozi taught me the exact opposite.
“The more you put yourself last, the more your life naturally falls into place.”
On a night when my heart felt a little heavy, I happened to open Laozi from my bookshelf, and those words resonated in my chest as if they were a letter written just for me.
“Heaven is eternal, and the Earth is everlasting.” “By putting himself last, he comes first. By letting go of himself, he is preserved.”
As I read on, the depths of my heart began to feel warm.
“Ah, happiness is something that comes from outside of oneself.” That realization descended upon me quietly.
From here, I would like to gently share with you the “cycle of happiness” that Laozi's words teach us.
Why do we become lonely when we only think about ourselves?
While reading Laozi's words, I realized something.
When people try only to protect themselves, their hearts become rigid.
Not wanting to lose out
Not wanting to lose to anyone
Wanting only to gain for oneself
Not wanting to let go of being right
When we close our hearts tightly like this, our connections with those around us fade, and before we know it, we are standing in loneliness.
What Laozi meant was, “If you make only yourself the center, the flow of your heart stops.” That is what he meant.
In spiritual terms, it is a state where energy swirls inside you and stops flowing outward.
When the flow stops, life becomes heavy. That is why it becomes easier to feel lonely.
Why life somehow goes well when you put yourself last
Lao Tzu's words about "putting oneself last" do not mean "you should sacrifice yourself."
It is actually the opposite, meaning "to relax yourself and create space to cherish others."
For example,
A day when you listened slowly to someone's story
A day when you gently reached out a hand
A day when you were kind without seeking anything in return
On such days, for some reason, your own heart feels light and bright.
This is because a cycle is created where energy flows outward and returns to you.
Lao Tzu called this cycle the "Tao."
In other words,
when you act for the sake of others, the flow of life naturally aligns, and as a result, you become the most enriched.
This is the true meaning of the phrase "put yourself last, and you will be first."
In the spiritual world, kindness directed toward others is called "light energy."
When light is released outward, it always reflects and returns to you.
Therefore,
A day when you encouraged someone
A day when you made someone smile
The day you lighten someone's heart
On such days, your own heart strangely feels lighter, too.
I believe Laozi expressed this as 'Shen Cun'—the state where one can exist vibrantly.
'Valuing yourself' and 'valuing others' are the same thing
In modern times, the phrase 'let's value ourselves' is often used.
Of course, it is important.
But Laozi teaches us something one step deeper.
'Valuing others is the same as valuing yourself'
This is because the kindness you show to others will always return to you.
That is why, when your heart is tired, it is good to try being kind to someone.
It is also the most natural way to heal yourself.
The 'cycle of happiness' taught by Laozi
If we summarize Laozi's words in a modern way, it goes like this.
When you only think about yourself, your heart becomes rigid and lonely
When you value someone else, your heart opens and your life naturally falls into place
Kindness becomes light and will always return to you
When you live within this cycle, your heart becomes lighter and your life becomes brighter
In other words, happiness comes from 'outside of yourself'.
Therefore, the small kindness you show to someone today will surely brighten your future.
Your kindness is surely saving someone
The words of Laozi teach us that "kindness does not make you weak; it is the power that makes you the strongest and most beautiful."
The small act of consideration you showed someone today will surely become a light that brightly illuminates you.
Please continue to cherish that light. Because your kindness is making the world a little brighter, one step at a time.
Three ways to become happy
1. Do one small thing "for someone else"
- Greet with a smile - Send a short message - Express gratitude. Small lights will brighten your heart.
2. Try letting go of being "right"
Being right sometimes hardens the heart. When you let it go, a breeze passes through your heart, and you feel lighter.
3. Live with an awareness of "circulation"
What you give will always return to you. Kindness, words, and actions alike. When you are in the flow of circulation, life naturally falls into place.
Reference: "100 Selected Sayings of Laozi and Zhuangzi" by Shogo Sakaino, Mikasa Shobo
To the note administration and staff, thank you as always.
March 21, Reiwa 8